


Katara's Journey Vol. 1

by Dapper_Stormtrooper



Series: The Trials and Tribulations of Shinjo Katara [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: 1st person pov, Diary/Journal, F/M, Gen, Season 1, supplementary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 27,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24261496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dapper_Stormtrooper/pseuds/Dapper_Stormtrooper
Summary: The side story that NOBODY asked for! Join us for the SAME story you've probably already read, but THIS time from Katara's perspective.Covers the first season of the series, and Book 2 of "Avatar: The Last Dragon."
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: The Trials and Tribulations of Shinjo Katara [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751302
Comments: 23
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following is a non-profit, fan-created, work of fiction.  
> It uses dialog from “Avatar: The Last Airbender,” where appropriate, but makes no claims as to ownership. Of anything.  
> The following is ALSO a supplementary work to my “Avatar: The Last Dragon” piece. Meaning it is not necessarily meant to be internally coherent as a standalone piece.  
> More details on that below.

** 23RD day of the Moon of the Ice-Serpent, 12th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

_I, Shinjo Katara, Tribe of the Unicorn, do here set down and record, for posterity and truth, this, a chronicle of the dealings, meetings, battles, and progress of Togashi Aang, the Last Dragon, returned Avatar, and last hope for peace in the world._

Woof. _That’s_ a mouthful.

Ok, so in case you’ve forgotten, Future-Katara, this is a _draft_. Obviously, you’re going to have to go through later and edit the whole thing.

For clarity. And conciseness.

Uggggh, and LANGUAGE, this formal style is just so dry.

But I guess it’s got to be done this way. “The Life of Kuni Kyoshi” certainly is, and as that’s the only reference material I’ve got to go on we’ll have to just tough it out.

GAH! I’m so excited!

* * *

_And so it was, upon the moon of the Tiger-Shark, that my brother and I, on an expedition of providence, did encounter the Avatar, frozen in ice along with his noble companion Appa, a bison of the sky, arrow adorning his brow in natural mimicry of his honorable master and…_

… do I really need to mention Sokka here? I feel like the less he’s in it, the more dignified this will be. This is the boy who, upon finding out what I’m doing, is encouraging me to take “creative license” with this project!

No, Sokka, I am NOT going to “jazz it up.”

Although, he _could_ be known to the histories as “the idiot who pissed his sister off enough to make her find the Avatar.” You would think that, having known me my ENTIRE LIFE, he should know better than to annoy me quite so badly that I bend accidentally. Gran-gran _still_ tells the story of the time I nearly brought down the yurt when he stole Mr. Tusk, my stuffed lion-seal.

…anyway.

_And LO the ice was split! And coming forth in a column of light was the Avatar! His eyes and limbs shining with the intensity of his power, and DESTINY!_

…And then he passed out for a second.

There’s got to be a better way of saying that.

And then there was MUCH penguin sledding!

Also, not very dignified.

I have to admit, Aang surprises me. You would think that the savior of the world would have a more serious temperament. Not that it’s a BAD thing, of course. I think Aang’s way of just… living in the moment and finding joy in everything is a really ~~hopeful~~ nice way of living.

A bit tiring at times, but generally very sweet.

Aang just is who he is, and he’s got this way of looking up at me with those big grey eyes and I just can’t help but sigh and let him do what he wants.

I wonder if this is what it was like for Mom, with Sokka.

* * *

_An LO, the great enemy came upon us, ~~breathing fire and~~ steaming with anger. Though the southern warriors fought bravely, they were no match for the evil prowess of ~~a single~~ the enemy._

Ok. So, Sokka _insists_ that I try to make him look good here. He says NOT making him look good is the same thing as making the _Fire-Nation_ look good. Which in this instance is true, I suppose.

But just between you and me, Future-Katara? Sokka got his ASS kicked. He tried of course, and at the time I was _really_ scared for him, but that firebreather(who did not actually breathe fire surprisingly) beat the pants off him. The only reason Sokka even scored a hit was because the stupid flame-brain had apparently never seen a boomerang before.

And here I thought Sokka was attached to weapons BEFORE!

I have to admit that this firebender was NOT what I expected when the black snow started falling. All I kept thinking was “this is it, they've finally come back to finish the job." But then, then, he didn’t even _bend_ at anyone, a fact for which I suppose we must all be grateful. He just kicked Sokka’s ass and then asked where Aang was.

That was the scariest part actually. I think I could’ve handled it if he was all murder-y and cackling with evil, but he just looked ~~bored~~ like he didn’t care. Not about finding Aang, THAT he cared about, but he just looked right _through_ the rest of us. As if he didn’t care whether we lived or died.

Like we weren’t even people, worthy of his attention!

I admit that, in the moment, I got a bit stroppy with him. Which _in hindsight_ now seems like a really terrible idea.

But he just sort of _loomed_ over me and glared and, to be completely honest, that just scared the penguin-crap out of me.

Fear makes me somewhat ~~pissy~~ indignant apparently.

But anyway, Aang flew down and saved us, surrendering himself so that nobody would get hurt. Which was very noble. And, also, very stupid. And I have told him so.

At _length._

While I admit (of course) that I don’t _want_ to die, I believe that there are certain things that I, that everyone, should be willing to lay their life down for.

Aang is now one of those things.

It’s just this sense I have, that he was meant for greatness.

I believe that Aang can save the world.

* * *

_Verily did we, the scions of Shinjo, find the Avatar’s animal companion, and after a great deal ~~of trying to guess his password~~ deliberation we did ascend into the heavens in search of our lost friend_.

Although Aang seemed to have the situation well in hand by the time we got there.

Someday, _I_ am going to be able to waterbend like that!

The Avatar state is ~~terrifying~~ impressive in its power. You can sort of see the Avatar spirit take Aang over, and BOY is it angry. I’m probably going to skip over that whole incident at the Southern Air Temple on the next draft.

The Fire-Nation is _evil_. The Air-Nomad genocide _happened_. Aang got really ~~fucking~~ angry. Those first two are, for the most part, not new pieces of information that need to be touched on. And as for the third, I’m also not sure if I should present “Aang the Avatar” as “out of control.” I’ve only known Aang for three months and I already know he wouldn’t like to be thought of like that.

He ~~HATES~~ does not like being angry.

I mean, yeah, sure he can get a little _snippy_ from time to time, but he’s 13. Remember _Sokka_ at that age?

So, after that debacle, we went to Kyoshi Island. Mostly, I think, because Aang wanted to ride the elephant-koi.

See what I mean? Fate of the world in his hands and he wants to ride on a fish! Almost _exactly_ like Sokka. The only difference is that Sokka would have wanted to _eat_ the thing afterwards.

* * *

_And upon the soil that bore one of his ~~fore-lives~~ predecessors, the Avatar did encounter a great serpent guardian and within the island itself the honored Kyoshi Warriors._

Ok. New plan. No formal writing in this version. If I’m going to have to do this all over again _anyway_ I might as well just do it the easy way first.

But anyway, Suki is THE best!

And not just because she beat the frost out of my brother for being a sexist idiot. She was just… so cool. She gave me a lot of ~~hope~~ encouragement about my bending and just was about the best role-model a girl could ask for. She even let me borrow her copy of “The Life of Kuni Kyoshi” to read, hence the idea for _this_!

It just seems that… well… I’m part of something momentous, you know? That there’s this great destiny for me now. Instead of just a boring life of wishing I could figure out waterbending and fixing Sokka’s pants, now… I’m IN a story!

All and all, the last few weeks were pretty good. Although Sokka got beat up on a regular basis, by a “bunch of girls” no less, he seemed to have been enjoying himself. “The Life of Kuni Kyoshi” has some chapters about her learning waterbending, which gave me some neat ideas and a good introductory understanding. Aang also got time to have fun and play around with some other kids his age, to really recover from the Southern Air Temple.

We probably could have stayed there a whole MONTH if that stupid firebender hadn’t caught up to us.

I was out with Aang, who wanted me to watch him ride the Unagi, for safety I think, when a Fire-Nation ship, even bigger than the last one, showed up all grey and menacing. Aang had managed to get himself knocked out ~~running away~~ evading the Unagi and I had to waterbend the two of us ashore and into cover.

So I’m hiding, trying to wake Aang up, just worried half to death about Sokka and Suki and the rest of the village, when I hear this _singing_.

And of course, it’s the Fire-Nation, and they’re singing this horrible song about burning people, and glory, and something about a “ranger.” It was ~~a fucked up~~ NOT a nice song. Anyway, Aang finally woke up and we made our way back to the village.

And when we finally do, there’s that stupid firebender again, only now he’s got Suki at sword point and he’s setting the whole village ON FIRE!

There’s chaos and fighting everywhere. There’s a giant bearded firebender on a rhino-lizard just whooping it up as he sets stuff on fire, and the Kyoshi Warriors are getting driven back, and the little patches of snow on the ground are turning red and…

Frost, it was like I was 7 again.

Anyway, Aang announces himself and he and the firebender just start going at it while I’m still trying to get people out of harm’s way. I turn around just in time to see Aang knock the bad guy through a house, and I’m like “YES!” But then the house EXPLODES! And the firebender is just ROARING like some kind of animal. And not a _wounded_ animal either, just a really pissed off one!

Then Aang landed next to me and was all sad because he thought it was _his_ fault that the village was burning down.

No, it is NOT your fault, Aang. It is Akodo _Zuko’s_ fault.

That prick.

But as I was trying to explain that to him, I got the idea that we should just up and _leave._ That firebender seems pretty single-minded, so I figured that as long as Aang left the island, and was SEEN leaving it, the Fire-Nation would probably go too.

And it WORKED! Yay me.

So that pretty much brings us up to now. Suki let me keep her book and said that I was “going to have one ~~hell~~ heck of a story to tell” after Aang saved the world.

And BOOM, just like that I knew I had to write this!

The editing is going to be a ~~bitch~~ pain though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey hey folks, welcome to the author notes of this… whatever this is.
> 
> As much as I, and all of you, seem to enjoy these things I’m going to try to keep these to a minimum going forward on this fic. Mostly, because this is meant to be supplementary stuff, as in not really a standalone piece.
> 
> If you are confused, probably because this is your first time reading one of my works, I strongly suggest that you go read my other stuff. It’s not that bad, at least some people seem to think so.
> 
> But, here and now, let’s talk about this work in specifics.
> 
> This is the same story as my other long-fic, but now as told from the perspective of Katara in a first-person journal format (something that is important to note as she will be referencing things that have already happened). This was something I've been kicking around quite a bit in between editing “The Last Dragon” and now, as I wait for my muse to return to me, I think it’s time to edit, review, and publish this bad mamma-jamma.
> 
> First off, this book (from the beginning to right after the siege of the north) is done. I will be publishing it all TODAY. If there is any interruption it is because I am eating dinner or the world-wide collapse of the internet. 
> 
> Chapters will vary WILDLY in length, and I am making no effort to change that. Somethings are interesting to me, some are not.
> 
> Two things to keep in mind (or rather two favors I’d like to ask) if you have any questions about motivation or other stuff, please please please feel free to ask.
> 
> Second, I would love to hear some commentary on “voice.”
> 
> This IS my first foray into another POV and I really don’t know how it is going. Seems fine to ME, but I can’t be expected to have any objectivity. The main problem being that I, shockingly, I have never actually BEEN a 16-year-old girl. I am paranoid about stuff like this because I want to do this character justice. There is a whole subreddit dedicated to men who write women badly, and as I am a man, writing from the POV of a woman, here, I can’t help but worry.
> 
> I don’t want to be that guy.
> 
> So, if you have any notes feel free to share.
> 
> Oooh. Another thing. I think I have said this before but, again, I LOVE using the strikethrough command in this fic.
> 
> Which FanFiction.net does NOT seem to let me do.
> 
> If anyone knows a way of changing that, or a fix of some kind, I’d be glad to hear it. Until that happens this will strictly be an AO3 work, which is disappointing, but… /shrug
> 
> Thanks again. Hope you enjoying reading even HALF as much as I did writing!


	2. Chapter 2

** 4th day of the Moon of the Ostrich-Horse, 12th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Aang has the weirdest friends.

I’m sure, future-me, that this will be a lot easier to dress up in a nice parka after the memories aren’t as fresh. But for now…

Bumi was _weird._

Lord Kuni Bumi is the earthbending Lord of Omashu and only a few years older than Aang. Given that Aang is actually 114 this is seriously saying something.

Regrettably, I am now almost of a mind with Sokka in his desire to “fix” this part of the story. There is nothing heroic or dignified about being trapped in some sort of rock confection, just _waiting_ for Aang to solve some insane riddle.

Also, side note Future-Katara: Aang + too much sugar = a migraine for me and, after he stops buzzing like an ice-bee, a stomachache for Aang.

Aang is not allowed to have Bumi over to play. Not unless it’s earthbending related.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: SEE? I told you some of them were short!


	3. Chapter 3

** 12th day of the Moon of the Ostrich-Horse, 12th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Uhgh, this always happens.

Why is it that all the boys I meet are _entirely_ unsuitable? Bad enough that I have been trapped with Sokka and his “army” of children since I was 7, but do they all have to be either frothing at the mouth, or short, or EVIL, or just… well… uninterested?

I am being entirely ridiculous of course and, obviously, NONE of this will be going in the final draft but, well, I need _some_ way of griping. Sokka just ignores me and Aang is just too sweet, the dear.

So, I have met a nice young man.

Ugh, who am I kidding?

Haru is _gorgeous,_ I cannot even begin to tell you just how man-pretty he is. Not that I need to, you’re me.

Mmmmmmmm.

Anyway, I meet this gorgeous man in the woods, earthbending, but when I go up to him to say hi, he freaks _right_ out, and runs off. Which, of course, Sokka finds hilarious.

It is not my fault that earthbending is ILLEGAL here.

At least I got the last laugh! Just that morning we were about to have to break down and start eating the _rocks_ that my brother still insists are nuts, but after this meeting I thought maybe that if we followed him it would lead us to a village. And it did!

Yay me!

The village was pretty terrible, and this is coming from someone who lived most of her life in a empty, formerly nomadic, village of yurts at the South Pole. Turns out that I was RIGHT about it being terrible, because the whole province is under the control of the Fire-Nation!

But Haru was just so sweet. We had a nice meaningful chat after he gave us a place to spend the night. His father had been a soldier when the Fire-Nation came and now he was imprisoned somewhere out at sea. I told him about my mom and how I had lost her to the Fire-Nation too.

Then we rescued this old man from a cave in!

Honestly, I thought that this was the beginning of something special, you know? I meet this absolute dream-boat, we bond over similar parental issues, we have a spot of _danger!_

But then Sokka had to ruin _everything_.

Sigh. Ok, not really Sokka’s fault. Probably saved me a lot of trouble really.

It’s just… there is definitely nothing worse than having the boy you are thinking about developing a crush on walk you back to where you’re staying, walking in to see your idiot brother with his shirt off getting ready for bed, and THEN seeing the aforementioned boy have a… bit of a _perv_ … at your brother.

Ugh. He just blushed and shrugged really apologetically at me when I caught him at it.

So I can’t be mad at him. He’s far too pretty and it's _entirely_ Sokka’s fault.

* * *

** 13th day of the Moon of the Ostrich-Horse **

~~Shit!~~

~~Curses!~~

Monkey-feathers!

They have taken Haru!

I have a plan!

Shouldn’t take too long, but I’ll write about it after its successful.

* * *

** 16th day of the Moon of the Ostrich-Horse, **

So, _interesting_ few days.

I have, in order, gotten arrested for a crime I didn’t commit, been thrown in prison, met a lot of earthbenders, given a dramatic speech ~~about hope~~ , started a riot, and then escaped from the aforementioned prison with the aforementioned earthbenders.

All in all, a productive few days!

Obviously, it was very awesome and dramatic but, unfortunately, it has nothing to do with Aang and/or his destiny.

He was there, he helped, the end.

Boo.

You know what? NO. I don’t care. Yes, this was MY plan. Yes, it didn’t go _exactly_ as originally conceived. Yes, Aang _was_ instrumental in its success. But you know what? When I do sit down to write this, with all the fancy words, I am leaving it IN! Because ~~damnit~~ darn it, this was cool, and the right thing to do, and just… well, awesome.

Even the speech about Hope!

* * *

** 18th day of the Moon of the Ostrich-Horse, **

Had a bad day today.

No danger, just…

I’ve lost my mother’s necklace.

It was the only thing I had left of her, and it must have fallen off my neck in that _stupid_ prison.

I just…

I have left Aang and Sokka to their own devices for the afternoon, so that I could go do “laundry.”

Honestly, I have just spent most of that time having a bit of a cry.

My mother… she was the sweetest most wonderful person in the world. She was kind, beautiful, and died protecting me.

And I am the _worst_ daughter in the world, because I can’t even keep ahold of the ONLY thing I have left of hers.

It was an heirloom! It was the symbol of defiance in the face of OPPRESSION! It was…

It was ME. And I lost it.

I just need some time alone. I hope that writing all this down will help me sort through all this stuff because I can NOT go back to camp and be a wreck. Sokka and Aang need me to be strong. So I WILL be.

Just like my mom was.

Spirits I miss her.


	4. Chapter 4

** 4th day of the Moon of the Koala-Sheep, 12th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

And yet ANOTHER good reason to hate the Fire-Nation.

We’ve just today found a forest, with every tree looking like it’s been burned out, all the way down to the roots. Turns out that _this_ is what the Fire-Nation does when it needs more charcoal, they just burn down a forest.

Typical.

Here I was, having a better day than any since I lost my mother’s necklace, and then comes this giant black SCAR on the face of the world.

~~Kinda like the scar on my heart~~

Uggh, THAT was angsty. Get a GRIP Katara!

* * *

** 5th day of the Moon of the Koala-Sheep **

So, fun fact, you mess up the natural world enough you piss off the spirits too!

The Fire-Nation EXCELS at pissing people off. RAGE: their number one export most likely, and now I have had to spend most of my day trying to cheer Aang up.

With acorns.

~~Because they give me hope.~~

Because they are a potent _metaphor_ for rebirth and renewal.

We are now in the village of Sen Lin, which has been attacked by a spirit by the name of Hei Bei for the last week or so. Now they are hoping that Aang can do something for them, with regards to this situation as he is a “spirit bridge.” I have had a small rant at them with regards to Aang only being barely 14 and not entirely trained, but he insisted he wanted to try anyways, despite the fact that he admits that he knows _nothing_ about the spirit world.

What a sweetheart.

We are now waiting for sunset and the spirit/kidnapping monster to appear.

Sokka insists that we are all just going to be eaten.

* * *

** 6th day of the Moon of the Koala-Sheep **

My brother is an IDIOT!

IDIOT!

Yes, Aang is only a small 115-year-old bald child. Yes, he inspires protective impulses. That does NOT mean you run out and try to fight some giant monster thing armed only with a thick skull and a boomerang!

It has TAKEN my brother!

IDIOT!

I am going to sit here at the gates of this village until he comes back and hit him with his own boomerang!

* * *

No ok fine. Waited long enough. Appa and I are going looking for them.


	5. Chapter 5

Difficult to write. On speedy flying bison.

Making this quick

Aang and Sokka safe

Used my acorns of hope

I am the best

Need get to Shrine of Roku

Because spirits!

* * *

FROST! Being chased by the Fire-Nation!

* * *

It’s that ~~fucking~~ firebender! And he’s SHOOTING at US!

* * *

BLOCKADE!

* * *

Oh spirits, what a ride!

Sokka fell off.

I caught him!

Momo caught dinner.

That was amazing!

* * *

** 16th day of the Moon of the Koala-Sheep, 12th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Wow. Ok. Now that I’ve gotten somewhere safe (and out of the wind) I think I should try to write down what just happened.

We got to the Shrine of Roku as the sun was going down and when we got in there, we found that the fire shamen were definitely NOT on our side. They chased us all over the place before one of them…

Shyu, Yogo Shyu. He has to be remembered.

Anyway, poor Shyu, who was the only one there who WASN’T ~~an evil crazy firebending bastard~~ an enemy, led us through some secret underground tunnels to the sanctuary of Roku.

Aang needed to get in because he had been told by the spirit of his past life that there was information he needed inside. Turns out, as we now know, that the comet that helped Sozin destroy Aang’s people is coming back soon. So, we need to be prepared for that.

Because we didn’t have enough stress in our lives apparently.

The problem then, however, was that the door to the sanctuary where this information was, was designed to be opened _only_ by five firebenders working together. Sokka, who was having a rare moment of genius, rigged up some explosives using lamp oil and we set them all off simultaneously in an attempt to fool the lock.

This, unfortunately, did not work. But kudos to Sokka for effort!

And it did give _me_ the idea for a rather genius plan of my own.

We (Shyu) trick the fire shamen into opening the door themselves, so Aang can slip in.

And it was _working,_ the other fire shamen were fooled by Sokka’s scorch marks, and I was just so pleased with myself as that giant door was grinding open…

But then that ~~fucking murderous~~ firebender was there.

And he’d gotten ahold of Aang.

And I didn’t even get a step in, before another Fire-Nation soldier, that big one with the beard, had grabbed me and thrown me over his shoulder like a turtle-seal to be skinned.

Which is REALLY irritating. I’m getting sick of not being able to DO anything in situations like this!

But scary-beard and another one, the thin and scary-looking one, tied me and Sokka and poor Shyu up. Luckily (or unluckily for Shyu, I guess) as they were closing the doors back up, Aang escaped and whipped across the room and through the almost closed doors like a tiger-shark through a school of fish.

So, I’m cheering, and Sokka is laughing, but then, suddenly, there is this horrible crunching noise.

Because the firebender broke Sokka’s nose.

AGAIN.

And I am absolutely _livid,_ I’m yelling at him (not smart Katara, NOT SMART) but he just ignores me and starts yelling at the shamen (and who YELLS at holy men that way?!) to get the doors back open.

Then he turns and just looks at Shyu and in that growling gravelly voice he has, he asks, _orders_ really, Shyu to explain himself.

Shyu said they were meant to be serving the Avatar, not the Fire-Lord.

The firebender was unimpressed by this.

And I think, for the rest of my days I will remember this moment. This horrible moment when things got very very real. Up to this point, even with all the blood at Kyoshi, and fire that we flew through to get to this island, even with all of that, I think I saw this as more of a game. A story that had only happy endings.

But then Akodo Zuko _murdered_ Shyu.

He bent that awful red fire-sword into his hand and just paced around him, his boots ringing on the stonework, his voice rising and falling like funeral drums. He called Shyu a traitor, said he had dishonored himself, his nation, and his family. Then he said…

“May your ancestors forgive you, for I will not.”

And the whole while I’m thinking, _any time now Aang… ANY TIME!_ But Aang didn’t come, and the whole while I’m looking at Shyu and that firebender’s face and I keep expecting… I don’t know… _something_. A joke, a snarl of rage, a begging cry, an evil cackling laugh… Something.

But there wasn’t anything on either of their faces but resignation and acceptance.

And then Akodo Zuko cut Yogo Shyu’s head off.

It rolled across the floor and stopped on its side, looking at me, still with that horrible no feelings face. And I just wanted to scream, and throw up, and… well, ok, that’s how I feel NOW, in hindsight.

Right then… I just wanted to KILL.

I’m still kind of frightened by that, it just welled up in me like something dark and primal and…

Whoof, still gives me sabertooth-goose bumps.

But, in that moment, I just looked up into that one-eyed bastard's face and called him a monster.

And he just… _nodded._ Like he already knew… and was OK with it!

~~What the fuck!~~

But after a moment of mutual glaring, yet ANOTHER ~~asshole~~ firebender, with these big gross muttonchops, arrived with about a hundred other soldiers. There was a bit of snarky banter, during which, I managed to calm down enough to really take stock of things. Shyu was dead, but Sokka and I were still very much alive for the moment, and I knew then that I couldn’t count on Aang to come save us.

We might have to save ourselves.

In one of the chapters of “The Life of Kuni Kyoshi” she had been captured by some pirates and had contemplated trying to free herself from some rope bindings. She had tried with water first, thinking that she might be able to bend with just her fingers, but had given that up as unsuccessful. I, out of curiosity, had tried it earlier, and found that while it was _hard_ it wasn’t impossible. So I start trying to unravel my ropes with just my fingers and the bit of water I could coax out of my waterskin.

Meanwhile, Sokka was actually paying attention to the firebenders. Much to my surprise, he has since told me that mutton-chops and our firebender were about to start fighting one another.

Also surprising in that ~~our~~ _the_ firebender is a _Prince._

Apparently, they have low standards for royalty in the Fire-Nation.

But they didn’t fight each other, and I didn’t save the day (this time.)

Because, just before anything else went down, the doors burst open and out came the Avatar.

I say "the Avatar" here because it certainly _wasn’t_ Aang.

According to him, it was actually Avatar Roku, and he had told Aang that he would help out a bit as he had something else he needed to take care of.

And that _something_ was igniting the frigging volcanoes under our feet!

Honestly, next time Aang needs to negotiate with his past lives he needs to be more forceful with his demands. “Help me save my friends” should obviously translate into, “and don’t do anything CRAZY before they are… you know… several HUNDRED miles away!”

I have spoken to him about this, and he has agreed.

But at the time, Roku just lit off the 3 volcanoes on the island. Admittedly, he also set me and Sokka free with a fireblast that basically disintegrated our rope bindings. But, again, it would have been nice if he’d have let us get out of there before summoning all the molten doom.

We ran, and Appa met us at a giant hole that had gotten blown in one of the walls of the shrine. As we hopped on, Roku… well, Roku was obviously Fire-Nation too, because he had about ZERO mercy for all those soldiers that angry muttonchops man had brought with him.

I won’t say that I _liked_ watching a bunch of people die, but if it had to happen to somebody… well, the Fire-Nation deserves it more than most.

Of course _Prince_ Firebender didn’t get his comeuppance, that would have actually made sense. I caught a glimpse of him just as we were escaping and it actually looked like he was about to try and _follow_ us. But then _another_ volcano exploded and so he just swore and booked it.

The whole temple had started melting into the mountain before Aang rejoined us, floating in a giant ball of air, still in the form of an old angry Fire-Nation guy. Then he just sort of collapsed back into himself on Appa’s saddle and groaned pitifully.

And we flew away.

Not our best day honestly.

* * *

** 22nd day of the Moon of the Koala-Sheep **

So there is a problem.

Sokka, now that we have gotten back to the occupied Earth-Kingdom, has begun going on these "intelligence gathering missions" in every town we go through/around.

He says that the conflict that we saw between the firebenders back in Roku’s shrine is a “tactical advantage” that can be exploited. And so he has begun asking people questions.

This, of course, irritates me because this has the chance to draw attention to ourselves (and therefore to endanger Aang) and also because it has, in recent days, NOT what I have been expecting to hear.

When we were with Haru, in Hinowa, the fact that the Fire-Nation was evil was a foregone conclusion. Obviously they are. They imprison people, they oppress everyone, they lord “the superiority of fire” over the populace.

Now, however, we are in Sanuki and things are… different.

These people actually refer to themselves as _Colonials_ and… well…

They LIKE the Fire-Nation!

I just want to bang all their heads together and scream at them.

“YOU ARE CONQUERED! THE FIRE NATION IS BAD! WHAT ~~THE FUCK~~ IS WRONG WITH YOU!”

Not only THAT but ~~fucking~~ _Prince_ Firebender is apparently their HERO.

This, the man who burnt down Kyoshi and cut off a shaman's head, is what passes for a hero?! I was so certain that Sokka was just making things up that I even went with him on his most recent "fact-finding mission." (Also, because Sokka said the village had sea prunes which, while expensive this far from the poles, I feel justified in buying, as my birthday is soon)

But, honestly, I have no idea what is wrong with these people. Sure, of course, they’re going to be happy about him putting down some of the nastier bandit clans in the north. And, yes, obviously saving some poor kid from drowning is admirable (if it was even TRUE.) But surely they can see that the Fire-Nation, and everything to do with it, is just… well… evil?

And the worst part? The last girl that Sokka asked about him (luckily she did have sea prunes) said Prince Zuko was, and this is a DIRECT quote, “dreamy.”

Dreamy? DREAMY!?

Obviously, there is something in the local water supply here.


	6. Chapter 6

** 10th day of the Moon of the Rooster-Pig, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Aang is currently having a small freak out about the comet. He is super worried that there is no way he’s going to be able to learn all three other bending styles before the comet returns. I have offered to show him the moves that I have learned from Kyoshi’s book, and from my, now going on, 13 years of waterbending experience (my near-collapse of the family yurt on my 3rd birthday being the first instance of my bending) and he has graciously accepted.

Gran-gran always said that _teaching_ a skill helps you _master_ a skill and so I am obviously very excited!

In deference to Aang’s concerns, we have landed near this stunning waterfall and I will begin my training as soon as the boys have taken Appa’s saddle off.

This is going to be great!

* * *

** Later that day… **

Today was not great.

Ok. Deep breaths, Katara.

Aang… Aang is very good at waterbending. A natural.

I… had kind of hoped that _I_ was a natural. Last southern waterbender and all, bending at the age of 3.

I think we must admit something to ourselves, Future-Katara, before we carry on any further. This is no longer a book about Aang. Certainly, if the opportunity presents itself later, I might like to be the author of “The Life of Togashi Aang” but that will probably be more loosely based around what I’ve got written here.

_This_ is “Katara’s Big Book of ~~Bitching~~ Griping.”

So, less noble than I had originally intended but, it is what it is.

Aang is VERY good at waterbending. Frustratingly good. There are moves that I haven’t even figured out yet, based entirely on descriptions in Kyoshi’s biography, that he just… DOES. Like, “oh yeah, that was super obvious.” I am ~~pissed off~~ frustrated with Aang about this though, obviously, I have no right to be. He’s the friggin Avatar, of COURSE he’s good at waterbending!

Just… I don’t know… it's disappointing, I guess.

* * *

** 12th day of the Moon of the Rooster-Pig **

Ok, book o’ ~~bitching~~ griping it is time for sneaky Katara!

We have, because I am a woman who believes in justice, and karma, and all of that, acquired a waterbending scroll from some pirates in the nearby village of Tohin Wo.

By acquired, I mean STOLE.

Yes, stealing is wrong, but they were PIRATES. Obviously, they stole it first! So it’s not REAL stealing, it is, at MOST, like half stealing.

Re-stealing

REVERSE stealing.

They said that they “traded” for it up north, and when we get there I will be sure to return it to the proper authorities. In the meantime, however, I get to learn REAL waterbending! Not just making stuff up based on stories or legends or whatever!

Still, I should remember that waterbending is not _everything_. I had a small shout at Aang today as he, _consistently,_ picked up every move in the scroll much _much_ faster than I did.

He has had a small cry, which of course made me feel _horrendously_ guilty. And in apology, I have told him that he should hold on to the scroll as _his_ learning is the priority.

However, I, being the original ~~stealer~~ owner of the scroll have decided that, if Aang is _sleeping_ he obviously has no need for the scroll at that time.

So, I will only practice the scroll maneuvers at night and during Aang’s nap times. He is a great lover of naps, and so I suppose that I will have as much time with the scroll as is needed.

This way, we both get to learn, AND I run a much smaller risk of losing my temper and snapping at Aang.

He just looks up to me so much, I don’t want to disappoint him.

* * *

** 13th day of the Moon of the Rooster-Pig **

I have just had the most… I don’t even know what to call today.

Frustrating? Embarrassing? Infuriating? Confusing?

Whatever, it was a DAY that will forever live in infamy in my mind and the pages of this book.

I was _captured._ ME. Captured. Again.

This time by that ~~asshole~~ jerk Prince Zuko!

I record this now as the price of my shame, that I, Shinjo Katara almost doomed the world because I couldn’t fight my way clear of a few pirates and an angry jerkbender!

Well… no more! Read on future-Katara and remember your shame! Remember why you must train, train, TRAIN!

(this rhyme was unintentional, but still useful)

And, because if something like this ever happens again, we are just going to straight-up DIE of embarrassment.

It was the middle of the night and I was practicing the moves in the scroll and in the middle of one labeled as the “rolling stream” maneuver this giant pirate suddenly lunged out of the river at me. Luckily, all I had to do is complete the move, and I knocked his ~~ass~~ butt back into the river. Then I turned around, to try and get back to Sokka and Aang, when _who_ do I run into?

~~Fucking~~ Prince Zuko. And he just grips me by the wrists and grins at me and says.

“Don’t worry. I’ll save you from the pirates.”

Unbelievable! No, icehole, you are not a saving person, you are a kidnapping and tying to a TREE person.

It was _humiliating._

And terrifying.

And… a variety of other confusing emotions, NONE of which were fun!

Then after I had a long and very well-articulated shout at him, and the now assembled pirates and soldiers, he… he…

He basically _sold_ me. ~~That fucking bastard motherfucker.~~

He said that if the pirates brought him Aang and Sokka then they could have both the scroll and the “pretty waterbender.”

He meant ME. And the most frustrating thing was that I was suddenly just really surprised that he called me “pretty.” Not _ANGRY_ as was appropriate to the situation. He had just sold me to a bunch of mangy, probably not very polite, pirates who I do not think would have treated me as a young woman should be. But here I was ~~pleasantly~~ _surprised_ that this giant, terrifying, enemy _firebender,_ just said I was pretty.

What is WRONG with me?!

You are better than this Katara!

But it got WORSE!

After the pirates disappeared into the bushes he sidled up to me and said that if _he_ found Aang first then he wouldn’t have to hand me over to the pirates. As though I was the kind of girl that would sacrifice her friends to avoid danger!

So, I said many very rude and not nice things to him.

And he was AMUSED by this! ~~That icehole!~~ Do not be _amused_ at me while I am yelling at you!

And _then_ he got really close and just sort of tried to persuade me. I have no idea how he did this, but he sort of just captured my eyes for a minute with his. How he can do this while he only has the one working eye is very unusual, but surprisingly very effective.

It’s gold-colored, his eye. Like honey, or a gold piece, or amber. I’ve never seen eyes like that before.

Not that that has ANY bearing on ANYTHING here at ALL.

He then, in this eye capturing time, said that if I helped him capture Aang that he wouldn’t hurt anyone else. He even said he’d take me to the North Pole so that I could find a teacher.

And I believed him! He said it so simply and… honestly I really STILL think that he’d have done it, had I agreed. See? CONFUSING!

Not that I would have EVER agreed to those terms but… I believed that he would have done what he said.

What. Is. WRONG. WITH. ME!

And then, worst/best of all, he pulled out my mother’s necklace!

And for this brief, heart-rending, moment I was just _really_ happy. I’d thought I’d lost it forever and then all of a sudden there it is, within my grasp.

So in the past 15 minutes I’d gone from rage, to embarrassment, to joy, and then back to a sort of grumpy resentment when I realized that, yes, my mother’s necklace is still in existence, but it is in the possession of the son of the ~~fucking~~ Fire-Lord!

And then it gets really weird, because he swings around behind me and, I think in hindsight, tries to continue _persuading_ me to help him by putting the necklace back ON me.

You do not DO that! That is a betrothal necklace and I freaked right the Frozen Hells out! It’s a really STUPID custom, but the whole water-tribe marriage rights are sort of built around the idea of hunting. The man being the hunter and the woman being the prey to be captured. This is stupid and sexist and just really _really_ not relevant to what was currently happening, but I wasn’t going to let this jerk do that to me! So I screamed and _really_ tried to get the hell away from him. He was very confused, and he came back around in front of me with this really _perplexed_ look on his face until Bo, who I will write about in a minute, tells him pretty much what that necklace means and what putting it around my neck would mean and… and…

He _BLUSHES_! What the CRAP? That is definitely what happened! It is not a thing I imagined, because never in a million years would I have imagined that this murderous icehole was capable of doing that!

CONFUSING!

But at the moment it wasn’t. I was just really pissed off at both his ignorance and his presumption. That same sort of black-fury as when he killed poor Shyu.

So, I threatened to kill him.

And he just stared at me, wide-eyed, his mouth hanging open like a beached salmon, and the unscarred side of his face cucumber-beet red.

After a long moment he turned away, stomped off and told somebody else to try and talk some “sense” into me.

As if _I_ was the one making no sense!

And here's the part where it gets even MORE confusing, because Bo, the female Fire-Nation soldier I had glimpsed back in Kyoshi, comes up to me and the first thing out of her mouth is "Don't worry, I'm not going to let them take you."

_WHAT_? And then it’s my turn to stand there gaping like a fish.

She introduced herself and said that the “Commander,” which is apparently the jerkbender’s rank, probably won’t let them take me either. He apparently gets carried away with his plans sometimes and doesn’t think things through. I am so friggin blown away by this I am just nodding along like any of this makes sense. She assures me that, regardless of the outcome, nobody is going to do _that_ to me because A) she won't let them (she said this with a surprisingly amiable grin) and that B) the "Commander" wouldn't let them either, because he is all _about_ HONOR. She said that I should just watch him when the pirates came back; if he meant to let them have me he’d stay where he was, at the riverbank and ignore us, if he meant to stop them, he’d put himself between the two of us.

I then made some disparaging comments about the “Commander” Re: his honor.

She shrugged and said he had a lot of stress to deal with and that he was kinda young for the job and people make mistakes. I asked if killing a _shaman_ was a mistake and she looked rather surprised. I explained about Shyu and the time at the Shrine and she looked rather surprised and annoyed that nobody had told her about it. But she said it didn’t surprise her that that had happened. The way I described it, Shyu _was_ a traitor, to the Fire-Nation anyways, and had he been given over to the metsuke (the Fire-Nation secret-police) or the Fire-Lord? It would have been a _lot_ worse.

This both surprised and confused me. I have had some time to think about it now and, I suppose, that that does make sense.

Still, doesn’t mean I have to like it.

We then talked for another few minutes about just other random things, it was bizarrely comfortable, and Bo was both disarming and super curious about stuff. Nothing that was really important information about Aang or anything, just general Water-Tribe stuff. I don’t know what they teach about the Water-Tribes in Fire-Nation schools but some of it is just _wrong._

But then the pirates came back with my brother and Aang and I was just so angry that they had been successful. I opened my mouth to begin ~~cursing~~ shouting at them, when all of a sudden…

I couldn’t see them because Prince Zuko had stepped between me and them, just like Bo said he would. So here I am gaping like a fish again as Bo nudges me conspiratorially while my brother…

Well, ok, Sokka saved the day. Remember this SHAME oh mighty Future-Katara. You screwed up and got captured like some stupid damsel and had to be saved by your idiot big brother. The same brother that once got a pair of fishhooks stuck in his thumb!

But Sokka then chooses to point out that Aang is the Avatar.

And at that moment, however, I was most cross at him.

And THEN he insults my cooking, and I am just so…

Hold on.

There, I have smacked him, with this book, again, for his impudence. I am the one keeping us fed, I am the one who does all the chores so he can go “scout.” There will be no speaking ill of my cooking.

Anyways, I am still yelling at Sokka as I have not figured out his plan yet, when there is this ROAR and suddenly the Prince of the Jerks is in the _middle_ of the Pirates! And he is kicking their asses! With FIRE!

Then, also suddenly, I am free. Most of the soldiers are running forwards towards the growing fracas, but Bo has burnt through the ropes holding me with a super sneaky firebending maneuver. She then _winks_ at me and she and thin-and-scary run into the battle.

I was chatting with a _firebender!_ And she was NICE!

MORE CONFUSION!

Then somebody threw a smoke grenade and things got really confused and wild. I, being sensible, ran _away_ from the danger and found the pirates wooden boat on the shore. I begin to start trying to push it out into the river so that we could make our escape when Aang and Sokka inevitably extracted themselves from the fracas. Don’t ask me how I knew they would, I know my brother and I know Aang.

As expected, Aang and Sokka arrived soon and we, using our combined waterbending skills (and Sokka’s not-at-all-helpful micromanaging), got the boat out on to the river. We managed for a good few minutes, Sokka was doing his best, despite never having piloted a boat of this size before, but all of a sudden the rigging and the sails are on FIRE!

I look out to the water’s edge and there is Commander Jerkbender, glaring at us in a menacing fashion. Aang and I, using our powers of ~~hope and~~ teamwork then raised a huge wave out of the river to put the fires out. Then we sent it back at Prince Burns-a-lot, and the look on his face was just _priceless._

I have since then apologized to both Aang and Sokka, who has, magnanimously, given me the waterbending scroll that he found unattended in the previously mentioned smoke-bomb-infused fracas.

Ok, Future-Katara! These are the morals of this story!

Stealing is wrong unless it is from pirates.

Practice, Practice, Practice!

Do NOT allow yourself to be distracted by firebenders making amusing/confused faces.

Also, some firebenders, probably only the female ones really, are actually ok. Not _great_ , still enemies, but… ok.

* * *

** 20th day of the Moon of the Rooster-Pig **

Oh, spirits am I pissed.

Here I am trying to put this whole “captured because I’m not good enough at waterbending” thing behind me and here’s Sokka just making a huge fuss about it.

I practice "crashing waves," he mocks. I try for "light drizzle" he mocks. I water whip him in the butt, somehow, still, he mocks.

And the worst part is, that he has become convinced…

Ugh, I don’t even know if I can write this.

Deep breaths, Katara.

He has, just in the last few days, become convinced that Prince Zuko is not chasing Aang.

He is chasing _me_.

I suppose I am to blame for this, I have no idea why I reacted so strongly. I should know better than to throw oil on the fire. Sokka just mentioned that the Fire-Nation was such a violent place, that he wouldn’t be surprised if kidnapping a girl and tying them to a tree is their go-to first date maneuver.

And I _snapped!_

I do not even know exactly what I said I was so angry, so very foolishly angry. I guess that jerk taunting me with Mom’s necklace really hit me hard, but I just went OFF on Sokka about a variety of things.

And, of course, because Sokka is only clever when it comes to messing with me, he just grinned that offal-eating grin at me and will NOT let up.

He now says that he expects Prince Pirate-Friend to show up any day now with a bouquet of flowers (FIRE-lilies) and a rhino-whale horn as proof of his intentions. He has waxed lyrical about the many _fiery_ and exotic songs that he will sing me, all about his _burning_ love.

I have done my best to ignore this, but for some reason the idea makes me blush slightly. I have denied this rather vehemently to Sokka but can admit it to you, Future-Katara.

What is WRONG with me? Can a person rage-blush? Because THAT is what I feel about that firebreathing icehole, RAGE! I would think about this more, but that would mean thinking about _him,_ and I will NOT be doing that as Sokka has already suggested that I am cranky because I am “pining” for my lost firebreathing lover.

How we went from first date to being lovers I have no idea.

My only rebuttal, so far, has been to ask how Sokka would know anything about anything, as he has never even so much as _kissed_ a girl. He has said that that was not true, he _had_ kissed a girl, but I had not met her, he said this rather shiftily. I said that I had _met_ Gran-gran before, and she was the only woman on earth that would kiss him.

Actually, I am pretty sure that he and Suki got up to some business while we were on Kyoshi. Why he will not just fess up to this is beyond me, it is _Suki_ who should be embarrassed, as she is far too good for my stupid brother.

Anyway, we have now bickered extensively on those many points as Aang stared at us in a bemused fashion.

Which, upon consideration, is actually kind of sad. Aang never had any siblings, apparently the Air-Nomads did not have family units, which sounds very strange to me. I have not said this in so many words to Aang though, he becomes extremely defensive of his people when he feels that they are being criticized, and so I have contented myself with saying “Ah, that sounds nice.”

It does NOT sound nice, but he is not Unicorn and I am not Dragon, so I think it doesn’t matter much.

Even as Sokka irritates me, I cannot imagine my life without him. He has always been there, and while it is, more often than not, me taking care of him, he has, on occasion, taken care of me too.

Which does NOT excuse him from making crass jokes about me and Prince Firebreath!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm not sure about the TITLE of this work.
> 
> I considered "Katara's Big Book of Bitching" but I wasn't sure if that was too much of a turn off right off the bat.
> 
> Oh well, suggestions are welcome.


	7. Chapter 7

** 11th day of the Moon of the PolarBear-Dog, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Wooo. Ok, settle down, Katara. This… this might be it.

After many false starts, with boys who foam at the mouth, or are just too man-pretty to be interested in girls, _this_ might be it.

Because, Moon and Sea, is Jet _handsome_. In a delightfully rugged and manly fashion.

We have also had a nice and meaningful chat, we have had a bit of a fight together against the Fire-Nation, and he is even polite to my rude and stupid brother.

I will admit that he is not nearly as man-pretty as Haru was, but that is OK because _handsome_ is good! Handsome is VERY good. And also, he is the leader of this whole gang of kids, some of them as young as 7, and he takes care of them all. As someone who only has to take care of two, _sometimes_ infantile, boys, I can tell you that is very impressive.

He is just so strong and tall and brave. And _handsome._ Thank La for this ~~diary~~ journal or all this absolutely silly nonsense would probably just fly out of my mouth at him in a big creepy _blah._

Jet is also very charismatic. He stood up at dinner tonight and made this big rousing speech about how they would someday defeat the Fire-Nation and how even though they were young they could be effective, and how they could never give up hope. Hope! He’s even convinced Sokka to stay for a while and help him with an “important” mission.

I think he just wants to include Sokka. He is so sweet!

* * *

** 12th day of the Moon of the PolarBear-Dog **

Sokka is an idiot! I take back any and all the nice stuff I said about him earlier.

Jet was so nice to take Sokka out on his mission with him, and when they came back he was all grumpy and, I think, jealous. Jealous! Of Jet! Just because Jet is so good at all the stuff Sokka sucks at, does not mean that you can just accuse him of stuff!

Jet is not a “thug.” Obviously Sokka just misunderstood the whole situation and Jet saved us all from a likely very nasty Fire-Nation assassin.

Sokka has insisted that we leave, and _I_ have insisted we stay. Jet needs our help as the Fire-Nation apparently intends to burn down the local forest, just like they did outside of Sen Lin. Aang and I are going to use our waterbending to fill the local reservoir so that we can fight back.

I have also made Jet a hat, which, I think, he looks rather fetching in. After I gave it to him, he had this adorable little smile on his face and we were standing so close and… oh, it was magical!

I think we might have kissed then and there, but Aang was also standing right there and so we did not.

I think tonight, after Sokka is asleep, I will sneak out and see if Jet is as appreciative of my hat as I think he is!

* * *

** Later that day… **

Huh. No Jet.

And no Sokka either.

Where did they both go all of a sudden?

* * *

** 14th day of the Moon of the PolarBear-Dog **

Calm. I must be calm. Kyoshi wrote about how water is the element of balance and equilibrium. Even Prince Firebreath knew that.

Wow, I must be _really_ losing it if I’m taking advice from that ~~icehole~~ jerk.

Things have, once again, turned for the worst on the dating front.

Calm. I am CALM.

Oh spirits, I _kissed_ him. What is WRONG with me!?

CALM!

Future-Katara? Heed my words. We are done with boys, alright? After all of this is over, we are joining a nunnery or something because I have the absolute WORST judgement in the world about boys. OK? The worst! If you are reading this future-self and you have any _inkling_ of liking another boy just read on and be de-inkling-afied!

So I caught up to Jet that next morning after Sokka,(correctly) told me that Jet was up to no good. I asked him if he had seen my brother and he said, without missing a beat, that Sokka had come to find him earlier to apologize, and that something _I_ said must have gotten through to him.

THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CLUE!

Calm. I am calm.

Sokka does not apologize that readily, and he _never_ listens to me. So, yes, I admit this should have had me water-whipping Jet’s ass right then and there. But, no, I am an idiot and bought the whole turtle-seal right then and there. He said that he was glad that I was there (which he _was_ , the stupid murderous psychopath) and then he leaned down and…

Ugh, it was so _perfect!_ You know? He was so tall, he smelled nice, he had these _muscles_ (which, I admit, I established then and there as I apparently get a bit handsy) and the sun was rising and painting everything with this rosy glow and… ugh… it was everything that I thought it should be.

But Jet was a fucking liar. No, no crossing that one out. Fucking. LIAR.

But he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Then I sort of just flailed around with my arms on him for a while, while his hands remained somewhat glued to my posterior. I think he was beginning to consider taking the two of us back to his hut when we both heard Aang, en route, whooping on the camp's zip-line system. So, I may owe Aang the biggest thank you _ever_ for stopping me from making what would have been the largest mistake of my life, EVER.

Jet then showed us to these water geysers that he wanted us to pull water out of. Once we had got a few dozen of them going, the reservoir would be full in no time he said. Then, after we were done, we should meet him back at the hideout.

I admit that I hurried things along a little bit, I was… _eager_ to get back to Jet, to see if we could play kissy-face some more. At least I knew for certain that there would be nothing more than that, as I was already having disappointed Gran-Gran induced guilt over kissing him so very _very_ thoroughly. So, I hurried things up a bit, and insisted that we go to the dam to meet Jet because we had gotten done so much sooner than expected.

I guess that was a good thing, because we THEN witnessed Jet’s “freedom fighters” stacking the barrels of blasting jelly we had found at the dam.

Which is something you do when you want to BLOW THINGS UP!

Ugh! CALM!

Calm.

Even in that moment I was trying to defend him, but then that bastard shows up, snatches Aang's glider, and ADMITS it.

He was going to kill an entire town of people, just to get at a few Fire-Nation soldiers! Just because they had “accepted” the Fire-Lord’s rule. It was crazy! As far as I can tell Gaipan has been under Fire-Nation control since before Aang was even born! Just because Jet lost his parents in an uprising was no reason to just murder everyone!

And then he said that he wanted me to understand, and he had _hoped_ that Sokka would understand.

He had done _something_ to Sokka. And I _lost_ it.

My water was out of its waterskin before he could even blink and I’m chasing him through the trees, Aang right behind me trying to snatch his glider back. Aang and he had this little aerial battle while I was on the ground near a small stream just firing water blasts at him. He dropped the glider and they both came down after it. He got this stupid smirk on his face as he’s coming down and I just let him have it. I emptied the whole stream at him and froze him to one of the trees. I was in his face, screaming about Sokka and what had he done to him and I’d kill him. Aang snatched up his glider and tried to head to the damn to stop the blast.

But it was too late. The dam went and I could just _feel_ all that water, in a tremendous terrible flood, just sweep down into the valley.

I thought that Jet had made me a murderer.

But no. I was saved. By my idiot brother, whom I love.

Remember Future-Katara, Sokka is frustrating, but he always tries to do what’s right when it counts.

Then there were explanations from Sokka and much cursing from Jet. Sokka had managed to warn the town that terrorists were going to blow up the dam and so no one had been hurt. I was very happy to hear this, but suddenly tremendously sad. Jet was still frozen to a tree and pleading with me to understand, and to help him get free.

And a part of me _wanted to._

Luckily the part of me with frigging common sense had their hand on the tiller though, and so I just slapped a piece of ice over Jet’s mouth as I got on Appa and we flew away.

I love my brother. I am annoyed with him because he has had me say “You were right, I was wrong,” about a hundred times as we flew away.

But, still, I don’t know what I would do without him.

* * *

** Later that day… **

Ok. I take it all back. Sokka is the WORST!

He just said that he wonders what’s going to happen when my Fire-Nation _boyfriend_ finds out about my _Rebel_ boyfriend.

I have hit him about the head with any and all objects near to hand, and am glaring at him as I write this.

You SUCK Sokka!


	8. Chapter 8

** 21st day of the Moon of the PolarBear-Dog, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Interesting day.

After a rousing morning of sibling bickering, we arrived at The GREAT DIVIDE (in caps because it's so big.) It is the largest canyon in the entire world and quite frankly it is majestic.

After a moment of sightseeing, there was a huge commotion as two feuding tribes came upon us, both insisting that they would be crossing the canyon first, as they were trying to get to Ba Sing Se quickly. The canyon guide then arrived and told them to resolve their differences or he would not take _either_ of them across. I then offered Aang’s services as the Avatar and a mediator, something he has made a great many claims to in the last few days as Sokka and I bicker somewhat constantly.

He has yet to mediate or resolve anything.

But he did have a bit of a shout at the two tribes and said that they would all go across together (something they had refused to do previously) and those who were sick, wounded, or elderly could go with Appa instead. This plan has been accepted by all, but left us with the dilemma of who was going to pilot Appa across.

Aang insisted he needed to go with the refugees, for peace-related reasons, and Sokka and I had a small squabble about who would get to ride Appa. We played earth, fire, water for it, which I won.

Yay me.

I flew Appa over the canyon in a few hours and have set up camp for the elderly and sick. I have also done what I could to make them all more comfortable but, regrettably, the only medicine I know is simple first aid from caring for Sokka, some veterinary medicine, and what I learned from the 3 birthings I have helped Gran-gran with. As no one there was in labor, a polarbear-dog, or had any number of fishhooks in their thumbs or otherwise, I was very little help.

This actually makes me rather cross. I really wanted to help these people and all I could do is make them a nice dinner and make sure they were comfortable.

Nice. But not particularly useful.

* * *

** 23rd day of the Moon of the PolarBear-Dog **

So, I have had to have a small shout at Aang today. Which as you know, future-me, I hate.

But when he emerged from the canyon with the two tribes in tow, all of them looking the worse for wear, he launched into this story about two brothers. Apparently, according to this story, the feud between these two tribes was all down to some game that their ancestors used to play with one another. He said that it was a silly game and that it was really no reason for them to fight one another. They all agreed with him and strode off into the sunset together arm in arm.

Except, as Aang told us later, that whole thing was a lie.

So I have had a small shout at him about how he can’t just go around lying to people to make things better. That that _wasn’t_ solving things and would actually just make things worse in the long run. He has disagreed with me, but I remain firm.

I asked if he would lie to me and Sokka, just to make things “better.”

And he said that he _might!_ Cheeky little rabbit-vole!

Sokka actually agrees with me, although he harps on and on about bushido and how honesty is one of the warrior tenants and blah blah blah.

Do I care about bushido? NO. No, I do not.

Bushido is the reason I haven’t seen my father in almost 10 years.


	9. Chapter 9

** 9th day of the Moon of the Boar-q-pine, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

I just really am starting to feel bad for Aang.

The poor kid has been having these nightmares, and while he hadn’t wanted to tell me what they were about, it’s all come to a head this last evening.

We were in the town of Sakana-to, trying to figure out how to get some money now that all the coin that Lord Bumi gave us is gone. My brother got a temporary job on a fishing boat, which was owned by a very rude man who had just let his partner go.

This ~~icehole~~ fisherman then berated poor Aang for a good 5 minutes before I stepped in and berated him back. He said some really harsh stuff, all about Aang being a coward who abandoned the whole world. I told him that wasn’t true and turned around to have Aang reassure him.

But Aang was already in the air, ~~running away~~ going the opposite direction.

He seemed pretty upset. And guilty looking. So I, being the one responsible for him, followed him on Appa, and found him in this cave.

I did finally get Aang to talk about what had been bothering him though.

It turns out that that ~~icehole~~ mean fisherman wasn’t 100% wrong.

Aang did run away. He ran away from home because they were going to separate him from, what in any other culture, would have been his father.

Stupid long-dead Air-Nomads.

They had apparently forced him to learn all these airbending moves, and to go through his gempukku almost 6 years before they normally would, all because they were afraid of the Fire-Nation. Which, I suppose, makes some sense given what happened, but still is not good in terms of pressure and stress for Aang.

I tried to console Aang the best I could after all of this. I told him that he couldn’t be sure that staying would have worked out any better. He might have just been killed along with the other Air-Nomads. At least now he has a chance to do something about it.

I told him that he gave people hope, and that that is always a good thing. I said that no matter what had happened in the past the world needed him now and, so long as he tried, and kept fighting, that I was sure that he would save the world.

He smiled that little sad heartbreaking smile at me and just said “ok.”

Gosh, he’s a sweetheart.

But then the cranky fisherman's wife showed up and said that neither her husband or Sokka had returned, and there was a STORM a brewing. So Aang and I set out on Appa.

And there were thrilling heroics!

Long story short we braved the typhoon and rescued both Sokka and his grumpy boss. The fisherman apologized (sort of) to Aang and said that if Aang hadn’t been there then he’d have died.

So, I think all in all Aang will be feeling better.

I just wish that _I_ was.

I worry, because I am a worrier, about what will happen when there’s a really bad situation and Sokka or my life is in danger. Will Aang run then?

Of course, even contemplating it makes me feel guilty. Like I was dishonest with Aang earlier. But it is something to keep in mind, I guess.

Aang can be… flakey. It’s his nature. He doesn’t like conflict, or hard work, or anything that really challenges his view of the Air-Nomads. So, I worry. I worry that when it comes down to it, he might run when we need him to stand.

I know he’s the Avatar, and every time I see him solve a problem, or learn a new waterbending technique, all these doubts just disappear in the face of his happy little smile and his optimism.

He really believes that everything will be alright, and I _really_ want to believe in him.

I still believe that Aang can save the world.

I just hope that Sokka and I don’t get left by the wayside. Heads separated from our bodies like Yogo Shyu.

Gah, the guilt. I hate this.


	10. Chapter 10

** 20th day of the Moon of the Boar-q-pine, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Uck. La. Save me. I am sick. Sokka made me sick! Stupid Sokka. Maybe if he would change his socks more often this wouldn’t happen.

Maybe if I _made_ him change his socks more this wouldn’t happen.

This isn’t my fault!

Don’t you yell at me! You’re not the boss of…

Ugh. Sick.

* * *

** Later… **

Have told Momo to get water. I am hope that this is good. Hope.

* * *

** 43rd day of the Moon of the Bear…thingy **

This is not water. Stupid Momo.

* * *

** 97th of the Moon of the Moon-q-moon **

I am hallucinating. I think. Momo brought… a crown?

This is not water.

Stupid Momo.

* * *

** 23rd(?) day of the Moon of the Boar-q-pine **

I am currently feeling simultaneously better and worse. Better in that I no longer feel like I am on fire and/or dying from dehydration.

Worse in that I cannot get the taste of FROG out of my mouth.

Aang has said that he was told about the FROGS from a lady on a nearby mountain top, and once I get my legs under me, I am going up there to give her a piece of my mind.


	11. Chapter 11

** 28th day of the Moon of the Boar-q-pine, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

Oooh, this is a GOOD day! A very good day!

I have just finished getting my fortune told by _the_ Aunt Wu. She is a mystic that is somewhat famous around this part of the Fire-Nation colonies.

So, apparently, not only am I going to have a good day, but I am also going to have a “great romance” with the man I am going to marry! I am NOT doomed to a nunnery after all!

YAY!

Aunt Wu also said that she could see that he was “a very powerful bender.”

OOOoooh, I hope he is TALL!

Then she told me that, although we two would go through "many trials and tribulations" and that things would "seem hopeless," we would end up together in the end. That our story would have drama and passion and ALL that good stuff!

Oh, Spirits this is great!

She also said that he would be powerful and respected and that I would be too, in my own right. These things are less important to me than his height, however.

I want TALL.

While I admit that Jet was not my wisest decision ever, the tall thing did it for me.

Ugh, I am being ridiculous.

But so excited!

And even better, in the short term, after Aunt Wu and I came out after my reading she totally bashed Sokka, who is dumb and doesn’t believe in fortunes.

Well, I will show him! I will find me my tall, rich, bender-man and snog the ever-loving slush out of him!

Mmmmmmmm.

That’ll show him.

* * *

** Later that day… **

There has been… a development.

Aang apparently has a crush on me.

I wonder if Aunt Wu didn’t say something that he misinterpreted? Maybe he is bound for a powerful bender too? But we were outside, in the town square of Makapu, and Aunt Wu had just finished this really powerful speech about how the crops are going to be good this year, and how twins are going to have fun, and how the volcano is NOT going to destroy the town, when Aang just blurts out that he “likes me.”

“More than normal,” he says.

Which… well, it's sweet and all, but obviously not going to happen. He’s a sweetheart, and maybe someday he’ll be tall enough to be in the handsome zone but…

Ugh. This sucks.

I managed to pretend like I didn’t hear him in all the cheering for Aunt Wu, but, eventually, I'm going to have to deal with this.

Oh no! This necklace! He probably thinks… oh, my spirits.

Aang made me a necklace out of Sokka’s fishing line yesterday. It is actually quite pretty, and has these flowers and beads woven into it. He made it because I had mentioned how much I missed my mother’s necklace.

I have, thankfully, not told him that Prince Angry has it. I was a little worried that he might go haring off after it and, now that I know about this crush thing, I am CERTAIN that he would.

_Boys_.

I’m going to have to figure out how to let him down gently. I mean I love Aang, but he’s like my little brother, or, for La’s sake, he’s like a _son_ to me. I have to clean up after him and scold him and make him practice when he doesn’t want to. The only mom thing I don’t have to do is make sure he eats his vegetables. Aang is a vegetarian and so _all_ he eats is his vegetables. Sokka is the one who needs to balance his diet.

Ooooh! Maybe, if I’m lucky, powerful (hopefully tall) bender-man will show up and Aang will just sort of realize that it isn’t happening.

Fingers Crossed!

* * *

** Even later that day… **

Another reading with Aunt Wu.

He… is… gonna be TALL!!!

Yesyesyesyesyes.

* * *

** 1st day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

Phew, that was a close one, future-me.

I now have it on good authority from Sokka that Aang is actually crushing on another girl in town! The one that’s _actually_ his age, and has those big ol’ pigtails. Maybe he was saying that “like” stuff to her, and I just overheard. This is a load off my mind, and is probably why Aang has been acting so weird today.

All those silly words of awkwardness? Totally unnecessary.

Thank Tui and La.

* * *

** 2nd day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

Well… now I’m just confused.

Aunt Wu was well… I don’t know. She was _technically_ right, the village was NOT destroyed. But that was only because Aang and Sokka went up to the mountain, to see for themselves, and stopped it from happening.

So maybe I’m not destined for a tall powerful bender with money and power with whom I will have a fabulous romance and 6 children with.

Oh well. I suppose it’s the nunnery for me after all.

* * *

** Later that day… **

Breakthrough!

Aang and I were talking about what Aunt Wu said to him just before we left and, apparently, she said that we all have the power to shape our own destinies!

So, not only was Aunt Wu right about everything, but she also allows for free will! So her interpretations definitely CAN coexist with my brother's skepticism! Or better put, just because we hear a fortune doesn’t mean that it will always come about in the way we expect, plan, or even the way we want!

Aang has said he is not so sure that that was what she meant. I told him that was ok as long as I got my tall bender.

When he asked what that meant, I proceeded to gush about all the stuff Aunt Wu told me about the man I’m going to marry. About halfway through I realized that Aang was looking like I had just kicked his favorite polarbear-pup and I realized that, no, Sokka had been wrong again.

Aang DOES have a crush on me.

However, he also now has some idea that he, bless his little bald head, is not really my type. So hopefully he got that, before I trailed away and asked him what was wrong.

He, of course, said that there was nothing wrong, and I, knowing what I know, have allowed it to stay at that.


	12. Chapter 12

** 4th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

We have found one of our people’s ships. How it got so far north, almost to the North Sea, is a bit strange, but Sokka says it’s one of the ships that left with Dad.

This is the sort of thing I can trust him to be right about.

It seems in relatively good shape, so we have camped near it in hopes that, if one of our tribesmen is nearby, then we will have the chance to talk to them and figure out where our dad is.

Or if he’s still alive.

I admit I’m kinda nervous, which is why I’m sitting here with my back to the boat writing all this down. This ~~diary~~ journal has really been a great comfort to me.

What if this boat is my dad’s? I know Sokka said it isn’t but… well what if he had to swap, or he’s hurt and can’t pilot his own boat, or…

Well, these are all the questions that I have been asking myself for almost 10 years.

Where IS my father?

Hopefully, whoever belongs to this boat will know.

And I hope…

Someone’s coming.

* * *

** 5th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

AHHHHH!!! It's my uncle Bato! Oh, my spirits!

I have just spent this entire night up and just talking and talking. Oh, this is just great. I cannot believe that, of all the people, I run into my own uncle in the northern Fire-Nation Colonies.

I am just pleased as all get out!

He has said that he was wounded, and that dad brought him here to this shrine to recover. He’s got this whole room decked out in Water-Tribe furs and we even had STEWED SEA-PRUNES!

My favorite!

While, apparently, dad intends to send Uncle Bato a message soon, as to a future rendezvous point, Sokka and I have agreed that we don't have time to go all the way over to the eastern Earth-Kingdom where it is likely to be. We have to get Aang over to the North Pole soon, and a huge diversion isn't a good idea.

Bato looked so proud of us right then I thought my heart would burst.

He said we at least have to stay a few days, so that we can get reacquainted and can get some idea of where to go to meet up with dad once we get Aang to the North Pole. We, of course, have agreed to that, and I hope that…

Huh. Aang’s gone.

* * *

** 6th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

Ok. So. Uncle Bato has this… this crazy idea.

It is crazy.

But he says that we've gone long enough as children and that every day that we go without wakizashi is a dark day for our tribe.

He wants us to do our gempukku.

I just… I don’t know. We’ve been on our own for so long, I haven’t even done any martial training. I mentioned this and Bato just laughed and said that I was his sister’s daughter, _and_ a bender, and if I hadn’t been learning how to use _that_ then he’d eat his boomerang. I admitted that I had, and later I tried to explain what I was really feeling.

It’s just… my dad left us when I was 7, because he was a samurai and he had a duty. A duty to avenge my mother and our people. And, while I didn’t say as much to Uncle Bato, I have always been… well… angry about that. I was 7, and my mother had just died, and he… he just packed up and took everyone away.

He could have taken us with him! But he didn’t!

And I have always told myself that I would never, EVER, abandon people who needed me.

I love my dad. And I understand that he had to go… but I hate that he left us behind. I know it would have been dangerous but… he was the only parent I had left.

I just worry that, if I ever became a samurai… I’d have to do things like that too.

But of course Sokka is all for it. He is more excited than I have ever seen him before. He would be, he gets a shiny new weapon to play with.

After Sokka left to “go inspect the ship,” Bato asked me what was bothering me and I kinda told him. He just looked so sad, he loved his sister too obviously, but he told me that being a samurai wasn’t about abandoning people. He said that compassion was just as much a tenant of bushido as duty was. Maybe even more important. He said that being a samurai was simply saying that there were some things in life worth fighting for. He said it was up to each and every one of us to figure out _exactly_ what that meant to us, and to our dad that had meant trying to make the world a place where his children wouldn’t have to live in fear.

I said that I wished he could have taken us with him. Bato said that my dad wished that too, but he’d trusted my Gran-Gran to take care of us and keep us safe. Bato said that he understood, his dad had died when he was 7 himself and he had always wished that he would have just stayed at home and not gotten involved. But later he realized that getting involved was the whole point of being a samurai, helping the helpless, fighting for freedom, avenging those who were wronged.

And so, I have agreed to go ice dodging. Here’s hoping that Sokka doesn’t get us all killed.

* * *

** 9th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

I… just do not know how to write this.

Aang is gone. He has left, and frankly, I am glad. I was really worried that Sokka might try to hurt him for a little bit.

We had just finished the gempukku rights. Sokka was really great, instead of ice dodging, we navigated some extremely treacherous shoals off the coast. I'm really glad Sokka spent the last few days examining them and going over the boat with Bato.

But we had just finished the rights, and Bato was naming us adults. Sokka got the mark of the wise, just like dad, because it was his wisdom and foresight that saw us through the troubles. I got the mark of the brave, because I was at the mainsail, my back to the danger, if we had run aground I would be the last to know and I would smash my head on the rocks. And Aang…

Oh, Moon, I am crying. I cannot _believe_ him!

We have been here for almost a week, and Aang, this WHOLE TIME, had the map to where our father was. The. Whole. Time.

He knows how much this means to us. He has to have, and yet he kept it to himself. Wadded it up and hid it in his robes like it was just a piece of trash.

My FATHER. I don't know whether to be sad or angry and, frankly, I am just overwhelmingly both.

We had just SWORN. Sworn before the Kami of the Sea and Moon, before all of our ancestors to be loyal and faithful and to observe the tenants of bushido. Something that Aang is supposed to have already DONE! He was supposed to get the mark of TRUST. He was supposed to be an honorary Unicorn! I just cannot believe that he would DO THIS!

I am just so disappointed right now. Sokka has said that it is better for Aang to go the rest of the way to the North Pole by himself. I… I agreed.

Yes, he’s just a small boy. Yes, his culture doesn’t have fathers, not like we do, but for him to violate our trust like that… I don’t know.

I just don’t know.

When I woke up this morning I had this… clarity. This sense of rightness in the world. I KNEW that the gempukku ceremony would be successful, I KNEW that before the day was through, my brother and I would be samurai, adults, and honored members of the Unicorn. This was going to be one of the most important days of my life and now… now it’s just…

Damn you, Togashi Aang. Why would you betray me like this?

* * *

** 10th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

Ok. So why is it that every time I meet that stupid firebender my life changes DRAMATICALLY?

So, long story short, Sokka and I are back with Aang. I almost killed Prince Zuko and, apparently, you can use waterbending to heal people.

Not sure if I want to write anything more than that.

* * *

** Not that much later… **

Ok, Yes, I want to write more than that! Obviously! It was just… it was probably the longest, strangest day of my entire life and I need to get it all out before my head and/or heart explodes.

Uncle Bato, Sokka, and I were heading towards the beach when we heard this really mournful wolf-bat cry. I thought maybe it was hurt, but Bato said it was just separated from its pack, which he said he could identify with. Sokka got this funny look on his face, he had been super grim all night and this morning but now he just looked resigned. He said that he knew what that was like to, and he looked at me and said that we had to go back to Aang. It was our duty, and while he wanted to see dad, this was what was more important, no matter what stupidness Aang had done.

I asked if he was sure, and he said that the reason Aang had hidden the scroll was probably because he was worried that we would abandon him, which was exactly what had happened.

Then he shrugged, grinned, and said we at least needed to see him to the North Pole, like we said we would.

I agreed, less because of the “duty” thing and mostly because I had started to really worry about exactly _how_ Aang was going to manage to get to the North Pole by himself when he can barely stay on task on an hour to hour basis. Flying across the North Sea will be a mindless, thankless, job that one person, even one with a strong and steady will, would have trouble with.

Aang would most likely get bored and look for some sort of animal to ride.

Bato said that, while Aang’s actions weren’t very honorable, they were, no matter his status as Avatar or a samurai of the Dragon, just the actions of a little kid. And that kids like that needed to have somebody looking out for them. So we hugged and parted ways.

And in about a half an hour THAT’S when the madness started.

Because we’re walking through the woods back to the Shrine, hoping Aang hasn’t left yet, when Sokka motions me to stop because he _thinks_ he hears something.

_Something_ in this instance was an entire freaking horde of Fire-Nation cavalry which surrounded us while Sokka still had his ear pressed to a rock. They were accompanied by the strangest looking creature I have ever seen. Like a giant earless rabbit-vole, but with NO eyes.

Ugh. Creepy.

And WHO is leading this evil force of evil? Why it’s none other than Prince Burns-a-lot along with this woman with a whip on the eyeless creature, maybe in her twenties somewhere. This awful woman on her awful beast is the one that actually _says_ the words that REALLY send everything tumbling off the iceberg.

“So, THIS is your girlfriend?” she said. “No wonder she left, she’s way too pretty for you.”

She said this to _Zuko_. Evil firebending ~~asshole~~ guy of Evil.

And then Sokka starts laughing and I start blushing and shouting.

And Prince freaking Firebreath starts blushing too.

Anyway, there is a long awkward moment of staring and blushing and laughing, when all of a sudden Zuko bows and congratulates us, me and Sokka, on our successful gempukku. Then he grins what may have been the most evil grin I have ever seen and tells Sokka that _now_ he gets to kill him.

I have asked Sokka about this just now, and he said that, back home and at Kyoshi, that Zuko had refused to kill him because he wasn’t _technically_ an adult. He was just, as Sokka puts it, a “naughty kid who kept ~~fucking~~ messing with his plans,” and apparently killing a kid who can’t defend themselves is dishonorable.

Unfortunately, this is not an answer that makes me any LESS confused.

Anyway, back at the soon-to-be dueling ground, Sokka sort of chokes on his own laughter and goes really pale. Which is unsurprising, especially now as I understand that Zuko had essentially been going easy on him before this point. After a second of this, Sokka, like an idiot, decides that to antagonize the firebender is the best plan and challenges him to a duel.

And Zuko gives my brother almost the same friggin look that I do when he’s being an idiot.

Sokka currently insists that he was being _clever_ , and that our best chance was to try and work together to take down our opponent. He says that because Zuko is obviously blind in one eye he should be more susceptible to attacks from two different sides.

While I have agreed with him, I have also pointed out that he did not need to make so many jokes in the negotiating process, and that if he ever EVER tries to SELL me to a firebender again I am going to freeze his feet to a rock at low tide and leave him there.

So, yes, as a _joke_ my brother thought it would be a good idea to offer me, in marriage I guess, to Prince ~~fucking~~ Zuko of the ~~fucking~~ Fire-Nation. Which, again, started a whole frigging _season_ of blushing on both our parts. Eventually, things got serious as Sokka agreed that if Zuko could beat us both then we’d tell him about Aang’s whereabouts. If WE won, however, then Zuko had to leave ALL THREE of us alone forever.

Which, ok, sounds like a pretty good deal, but again we’re talking about Prince Zuko here! Son of the Fire-Lord! And here I am with about a gallon of water and my idiot brother. There was no WAY we were going to win, but Sokka accepted (for both of us without asking me first, the icehole) and Zuko accepted.

Then the three of us are just standing there, Sokka is doing these warm-up stretches I think Suki taught him, and I’m just fidgeting like a nervous-narwhal. And Zuko is just standing there, watching, sort of bored.

But then, and here’s where the weird maxes out, he bows again, and _congratulates_ me on my betrothal.

At first, there was just a straight-up boatload of confusion. Me trying to figure out what the frost he's talking about. But then, THEN, it dawns on me, I'm still wearing that necklace that Aang made me back in Makapu.

And he thought it was a _betrothal_ necklace.

And all of a sudden he wasn’t bored at all. He was PISSED. His one golden eye was almost glowing with it he was so pissed.

For some bizarre reason, it became very very important for me to assure him that it was NOT a betrothal necklace, but he just bent that bar of fire into his hand and said our time was up.

Then he kicked our asses.

There is no possible way of sugar-coating that.

Asses = kicked.

He disarmed me and Sokka in less than 30 seconds and sent me flying with a single kick to the stomach. Then he absolutely annihilated Sokka. He didn't break his nose again, but he wasn’t even bending, and he just pummeled him until Sokka couldn’t even stand anymore.

Then, after Sokka had fallen to his knees, Zuko pulled out his metal sword and started doing that walk.

The same walk he did around Shyu.

And I _knew_ what was going to happen, and I just about lost my mind with fear. I was NOT going to let Sokka die, but I knew that we couldn’t fight anymore.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I surrendered.

Sokka is still annoyed with me a little bit, but he is grateful that he didn’t have to commit seppuku which was apparently what Zuko was offering.

Kinda makes what happened later seem… spirits, I don’t know.

Anyway, he stopped his little "I'm going to cut off your head" speech as soon as I surrendered. Then he just looked at me, and I tell you it was like his eye was almost glowing in the sunlight, it pinned me in place there and even had I _wanted_ to lie, I don’t think that I could have.

So I told him the truth.

Not that he believed me. Jerk.

But after Sokka corroborated my story, that the last place we had seen Aang was the Shrine, Zuko just nodded and put his sword away.

And then that weird eyeless creature shot its tongue out at us both… and I couldn’t move.

Paralyzing venom, on the tongue. What a WEIRD creature.

Anyway, I'm lying there on my side, watching him walk away in his armored boots when he suddenly stops, turns around, and crouches down in front of me.

And then there’s my mother’s necklace in my view.

He told me they had been tracking me by scent, and I am again furious. I just can’t believe he’s taunting me with the necklace AGAIN!

But then it disappears and I feel this… tugging on my belt and I’m confused, but then when his hand comes back into my vision again it’s gone.

And I know that he has just tied it to my wakizashi.

~~WHAT IN THE FUCK!?!~~

No, seriously, there aren’t any more polite words for this, what the fuck?

He… gave it BACK! Prince friggin Zuko of the friggin Fire-Nation… did something NICE!

This is not how things are supposed to work!

Then, because I wasn’t confused enough, he rips off the necklace Aang gave me because “they need a new scent.”

What in the frozen hells?

It was… spirits, it was almost like he was jealous.

But that’s crazy, right? I mean he’s been trying to kill us for almost a year, and I threatened to kill him and generally just have been just as much an obstacle to him capturing Aang as anybody!

Right. Crazy. Maybe it was just some weird Fire-Nation thing about necklaces?

Anyway, we got tied up and thrown onto those big ass rhino-lizards and then they took off down the road to the shrine and, honestly, I am just trying to sort through all the craziness of all the questions that I have just written down; this not being helped by the fact that I am tied up on the back of Zuko's lizard and he keeps having to put his hand on my back to steady me and make sure I'm not going to fall off.

~~Spirits does he have big hands.~~

NO! No one cares about his hands! ~~Nor about how they were really really warm.~~

Ugh. Anyway, it is several hours of riding later, several long, confusing ~~but rather warm~~ hours that we get back to the shrine. Me and Sokka are pulled off the lizards and the nuns there are seeing to us when Aang comes back! He blasts the soldiers that were watching us and then, before he can come to save us, it turns into a huge fracas!

Appa is fighting with the big eyeless thing, and Aang and Zuko are going at it, soldiers are dismounting their lizards to try and help Zuko when all of a sudden…

Ok, I have just asked Aang and he is being really shy about it, but he said that he made a mistake and used the wrong air shield to counter Zuko's fireblast. All it did was make the fire more powerful and explosive and that's why there was, in fact, a HUGE explosion.

Meanwhile, I am desperately trying to get my legs and arms to work, because, while Aang is fighting the good fight, he is seriously outnumbered and unable to simply run away because that would mean abandoning us. And I am so worried, and cross, and confused and just… well… I didn't think I could be having this many emotions at one time!

Thankfully, now that we weren’t being guarded as closely, the mother superior came over and wafted this really potent smelling stuff in my face and I felt my limbs go alive all at once, all itchy pins and needles.

The first thing I do, cause I HAVE to know, is look down and see that Zuko DID, in fact, tie my mother's necklace to my wakizashi hilt.

And so I put it back on, then take in the scene.

Aang is being cornered by scary-beard and thin-and-deadly as well as whip-girl and her eyeless monster and I take a step to go help him when I see Prince ~~fucking~~ Zuko just _standing_ there, arms over his chest, just nodding. Like this was inevitable and that there was nothing anyone could do to stop him, and it was just… _right._

Like the fact that Aang who is only really just a little kid _should_ be captured and subjected to whatever atrocity it is that the Fire-Lord has prepared for him!

All those other emotions that I was having just sort of disappeared in the face of how angry I got at that, and I could just suddenly _feel_ this massive reservoir of water under my feet.

There was a well in the courtyard and I strode over to that even as Sokka was yelling at me to come back.

With the water from the well, I blasted scary-beard off the roof where he was chasing Aang.

Then Zuko was yelling at me about surrendering and I yelled back about how I’d already done everything I said I would and that NOW it was my turn to kill HIM.

And he just laughed. Laughed like I did not even know he was capable of. He just laughed and then he roared at me, bending fire from his hands and mouth.

It wasn’t a threat though, it was a challenge.

And I… well, I think I had gone slightly crazy, this guy had just kicked my AND Sokka’s asses for us and… well…

I just roared back.

The fight was surreal. I don’t know if I can describe it in a very coherent fashion. At Sokka’s prompting, Uncle Bato had told us a bunch of his old war stories a few nights previous and he said that sometimes your big brain, the part that remembers stuff, just can’t handle all the stress of combat and so when you _do_ remember things they are like disjointed images, like just flashes of sound and light.

And honestly, he was right.

We fought and all I can tell you is that it was a _good_ fight. Every move I tried was successful, every kata I did seemed to be the right one. Honestly, I have no idea how I did it, the day before I was barely able to consistently make ice out of water, now I threw it at Zuko like it was second nature.

There is a flow to a fight, just like there is a flow to waterbending, and I found that flow there with Zuko as I hurled ice blade after whip at his grinning, yet terrifying, face.

I had just burst out of the well, having gone down it to evade a large blast of fire, and Zuko was reeling from the force of the wave so I sent some ice at him.

And he didn’t block it.

This part I remember very clearly for some reason, probably because the fight was over, though I didn’t really know that yet.

I was expecting him to jump back up at any moment, just like he always did, but, in the meantime, I think that, because I wanted to taunt him a little, I pulled my wakizashi out and pointed it at his neck and started doing that slow circle around him.

He just sort of looked up at me from where he had landed on his knees, blinked, gave a little nod, and pulled out his own wakizashi.

There was blood on his hands.

For some reason, this is what snapped me out of it. This is what brought me back to myself. Because I had… I had lost myself in that fight and Zuko's blood was on his hands and on the paving stones then, and I could see that I hadn't just knocked the wind out of him or knocked him down or anything like that.

I had put a foot of ice through his guts.

I… I don’t know that want to be a killer.

I know that some people deserve death. I know that, in war, soldiers die. I know that I still hate the Fire-Nation.

But, in that moment, I wasn’t entirely sure if I hated Zuko.

He just looked… I want to say small, but that’s not right.

He looked… _relieved_. That was it.

He looked like a man who had just caught sight of land after a shipwreck.

That was the problem. He just looked like a man. Not a terrifying firebreathing monster that had chased ~~me~~ Aang across the planet. Not a faceless soldier off to do the evil as commanded by his even _more_ evil masters.

Not the face of the man that burned my mother alive.

He was just… a man. A man who spat blood out of his mouth and began reciting a death haiku.

Because I had _beat_ him. I had beat Prince Zuko, he acknowledged it, and because he is samurai he was prepared to die.

I, on the other hand, discovered that I was not prepared for him to do so.

Before he even finished his poem, I had locked his arms in ice and was moving forward to try and figure out if there was anything I could do.

When he opened his eye, and found that he couldn’t move his arms, he had the most… _childish_ look of surprise and indignation on his face. Then he fell forward, and I had to catch him before he drove the ice further into his own stomach. I admit that I was crying as I bent the ice, all the ice, away from him and moved his wakizashi to the side. He had this look of confusion on his face and… well, he didn’t seem so terrifying then.

Not that that made _me_ any less terrified about the whole situation.

All I was able to do was just press my hands to the wound in his stomach and just try to hold his blood in. I even tried to freeze some ice over the wound, but it just wasn’t working.

Then he just looked up at me and smiled. Not an evil smile. It was… it was a nice smile.

Then he murmured something about me being pretty, and passed out.

~~NOT SUPER ROMANTIC.~~

So here I am crying like an idiot, and trying to save the life of a guy who I KNOW is a ~~murdering~~ ~~evil~~ very confusing member of the nation that is my enemy, and I am wishing to NOT be a killer myself and wondering just what the frozen hells he meant by… well, ANYTHING that had happened in the last day, when suddenly the water around my hands begins to glow.

There is… a flow to life. That is all I can think of to describe what happened. There is a flow to life in the body and I could feel it. I think I could always feel it, but only now as Zuko's flow was sort of guttering and fading away did I really notice it.

And so I sort of pushed on it.

Push and pull, beginners moves.

And the water in my hands grew brighter, and the flow in his body did too, and…

Spirits this all just sounds crazy.

What was MORE crazy, was when I glanced up and saw the old man.

I’d seen him before with Zuko, when I had been captured outside of Tohin Wo and, I think, on his ship at the South Pole, and he just knelt there on the other side of Zuko, looking at him in this heartbreakingly sad fashion, a great many unshed tears in his eyes.

Eyes the same gold color as Zuko’s.

We had been told that Zuko was the Fire-Lord’s son, but the way this man looked at him I wondered if that was true or not.

After a few minutes of me… well… _healing_ Zuko, I could sort of feel the bits inside him that I had cut and damaged come back together. I was really exhausted but I managed to bend some water over the wound to clean it. The wound was still there, but it was barely even skin deep now.

The old man bowed very deeply at me and held it for a long moment.

Then he popped up and looked over at Aang, who was still trying to fight/escape from the soldiers, rather contemplatively.

"You know," he said nodding at the eyeless monster, "life must be so much simpler without eyes. But with only a nose to guide you, I would think you could become _confused_ rather easily.”

And while this confused the frozen hells out of _me_ at first, it also, as was probably his intent, gave me an idea.

The nuns here made perfume, and I knew from earlier when I had asked to help that I could _bend_ it.

So I did, I tugged at one of the ceramic pots full of the concoction and dumped it on the monster’s head.

And it went _berserk_.

And just like that, the tables were turned. It flailed around paralyzing people, including that rude whip-lady, and in the ensuing mayhem we managed to get all three of us on to Appa and escape. I'm pretty sure the old guy stopped them from chasing after us too.

Since then I have had a serious talk with Aang about trust, and respect, and boundaries, and the importance of not tampering with people’s personal effects (including messages for them.) He has looked suitably abashed, and apologized what I consider to be the requisite number of times. He is even now beaming at me from across the saddle.

Because, honestly, no matter that he’s 115, Bato was right; he is just a little kid, and kids make mistakes. He was forced into this role, as the Avatar, as a samurai, much too early. According to him they normally don’t do gempukku in the Dragon until a person is 18.

This makes sense to me, but I will be _very_ surprised if Aang is as mature as ~~Zuko~~ ~~Sokka~~ ME by the time he is 40.

So. There it is Future-Katara. Hopefully, YOU will have figured out what in the ~~frostbitten left testicle of Kuruk~~ heck happened back there, because I still haven’t.


	13. Chapter 13

** 13th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

So, Sokka is now cross with me. His ingratitude is rather irritating.

He has, as is usual, managed to fall over while he was “scouting,” and skinned his palms. Instead of the usual tincture I use, I have used my waterbending to heal him.

I was most pleased with my success _and_ with the shocked look on his face when he asked when I had learned that. I said that I think I had always known, because that is A) true and B) because nobody here needs to know that I healed Zuko last week.

Sokka, however, became most irate at this answer as that means I have been "holding out on him" for years. He has proceeded to mention the many _many_ times that he has fallen over and/or otherwise hurt himself with his general clumsiness. I have had a small shout at him about ingratitude and he has had a small shout back about letting him suffer for no good reason. Aang, of course, has tried to have us make peace with his usual limited success.

The shouting then spiraled into Sokka's continued insistence that going to Yu Dao, the oldest of the Fire-Nation Colonial cities for a Fire-Nation festival of some sort was a really terrible idea. While at first I had agreed with him, Aang has sort of convinced me that it wouldn’t be too bad, and that it might be the best way for him to begin learning firebending.

I admit that I was intrigued by the idea, and the idea of learning more about the Fire-Nation in general. They have always been the terrible monster under the sleeping furs for me and I have realized in the last few months that I really don’t know _anything_ about them. This has always been Sokka’s domain, the finding out and knowing things about our enemies, thing. But I can’t help but remember that nice firebender, Bo, back in Tohin Wo and how genuinely interested she seemed in everything.

She was nice, and yes I know I never thought I would say that about the firebreathers. I am probably being really silly, she probably left right after that to go and grill up some orphans or something, but the impulse still stands.

There are simply too many things that I do NOT know about.

I didn’t even know that healing with my waterbending was possible until…

Well, you know what happened, and I’ve already written enough about that.

So, in the interest of education, and because I can never say no to Aang when he looks up to me with those pleading grey eyes…

Although, I note with some trepidation that he does not have to look _up_ nearly as much as he once did. I will have to see about getting him some longer pants soon.

Anyway, annoyed with Sokka, going to a festival, very curious.

* * *

** 14th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

Of course. Everything involving the Fire-Nation ends in disaster for us. I will need to have another talk with Aang about being surreptitious.

We went to the festival in Yu Dao, which it turns out was their festival of High Summer, a whole week of celebrations, 3 days on either side of the summer solstice and, honestly, it was a lot of fun at first.

That may have been the largest city I have ever been in. Omashu might have been a bit bigger, but it was hard to tell what with the way it was built on a mountain. There were so many people there, all in reds and oranges and yellows with a smattering of green for good measure. I am surprised that anyone living under the control of the Fire-Lord could be as happy as those people seem to be. Yes, it is a festival, but they were REALLY getting into it.

Upon entering, we disguised ourselves with these festival masks, the anonymity of which also allowed me to _finally_ sell that silly crown that Momo brought me when I was sick. This cash windfall then translated into Sokka thinking he had died and gone to culinary heaven. He sampled a great many foodstuffs, most of them _ridiculously_ spicy, and then went on at _length_ about something called a "fire flake." I consented to try one, and honestly it felt as though my tongue wanted to burst from my mouth with its spiciness. 

I cannot believe Sokka keeps eating them.

He has said that the burning and nose running sensation simply proves how manly he is, which I assume he was convinced of by the fire flake vender.

_Boys_.

Anyway, there was a magician/firebending performance in one of the many plazas and courtyards which Aang dragged us off to see. It was actually quite lovely, until the magician decided that I would make a good “volunteer.”

Not that I was actually trying to volunteer.

But in an attempt to NOT make a scene, I consented to being pulled up onto the stage and being called “The Princess.”

I would have very much like to have a good long shout at the performer all about sexism and how I was just as capable of defending myself (I had, after all, kicked his own Prince’s ass,) but again, not making a scene.

So I attempted to just enjoy the performance. It was, as I already said, actually quite lovely. He had conjured this ancient flying serpent out of fire, which Aang would later proudly tell me was one of the dragons that his dojo had been named in honor of, and he was just swirling it all around.

However, Aang then ruined everything by panicking, then airbending, at a pretend dragon to “defend” me.

I was not in any danger Aang. And had I _been_ in danger I would have been able to do something about it.

But he revealed himself to be the Avatar, and we were then run all over the city, being pursued by guards.

Luckily we met a friend, whose name it turns out is Chey, and he, with the help of many smoke bombs, helped us flee the city after setting off the fireworks display as a distraction.

I had never seen fireworks before, and they are also quite lovely.

Chey also revealed that he is a soldier with someone called Jeong- Jeong, who was formerly an admiral in the Fire-Nation navy and one of the first of such a high rank to desert in a very very long time. He is also a firebending master, and Aang became very excited. He is convinced that this might be the only person in the world to be able and willing to teach him firebending, all other firebenders being either evil, or simply his enemies.

I am, again, surprised to find myself agreeing with that distinction.

So I have agreed with him, again over Sokka’s protests, and we are now in Jeong-Jeong’s camp, waiting for Chey to get back from his meeting.

So, all and all, and interesting day.

* * *

** 14th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

So, I don’t know exactly what happened last night, I fell asleep, but apparently Jeong-Jeong first refused, then agreed to teach Aang firebending.

So, that’s nice.

I have decided to practice my bending at a nearby river so that I can eavesdrop on the lesson. In her book, Kyoshi said that many of the core ideas of any bending discipline are useful in all of the different styles, and as Jeong-Jeong is a master, it would be a good idea to listen for anything I can pick up.

I would like to be as proficient as possible by the time we get Aang to the North Pole so that I do not make a fool of myself. Even if I, by the Fire-Nation standards anyways, am a bending-master (defeating another master-bender in combat, like Zuko, being a method of attaining that rank.) But I do not know if the Crane will accept that. Gran-gran has told me at length about how things were in the North and I imagine that I will have to be quite persuasive/skilled to be accepted there.

* * *

** Later that day… **

So… I am not sure about this Jeong-Jeong. All he has had Aang do for the last hour is stand, his legs ridiculously akimbo, and breathe. Aang is most annoyed by this, and I have had to remind him that he is supposed to be training several times, before he could wander off in search of something more interesting to do.

The largest problem is that Jeong-Jeong simply gives Aang one (usually boring) thing to do and then walks away and expects him to do it. This does not work with Aang. He requires constant supervision and gentle encouragement. The very few times that he had has trouble with waterbending I have had to assure him that he is not in fact "a failure." It is surprising to me that someone as talented as he is has so many confidence issues.

Perhaps he is just not as used to failure?

That sounds right. He is so used to things going smoothly that he really has no idea what to do when things do not immediately work out. This is just another one of those things that is a consequence of him being pushed too far too soon by his Air-Nomad teachers. He does not deal with failure well.

_Or_ with being told to stand still for hours on end.

* * *

** 15th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

Aang and Jeong-Jeong have had a small spat to do with breathing, control, restraint, the nature of fire, and so on.

He has emerged from Jeong-Jeong’s hut and ranted about this to me.

At length.

I have told him that he mustn’t give up, and some other soothing words that generally just mean he needs to stop whining and get back to work. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had the heart to say these things to him out loud, but likely it would only upset him and cause him to run away and/or cry.

But Aang has already had enough people yelling at him to do things, he does not need another one. So I have just advised him to _really_ think about whatever it was that Jeong-Jeong said, and to try and understand that Air and Fire are two different things.

I, however, am actually getting a little sick of Jeong-Jeong’s attitude. Is he meant to be teaching Aang? Or just trying to annoy him until he goes away?

* * *

** 16th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel **

I have had an interesting talk with Jeong-Jeong today.

There was a small fracas earlier as Aang and Jeong-Jeong began a new phase of training.

Aang had agreed to be more patient and Jeong-Jeong had agreed to teach Aang to actually DO something with fire. Aang was most excited by this, but quickly schooled himself to serenity.

Then, Jeong-Jeong gave him a more firey exercise… and walked away. AGAIN!

It should be no surprise to anyone with an ounce of common sense what would happen next!

Aang, instead of doing the, admittedly rather boring-sounding, exercise, elected to try to juggle fire. Which of course, despite my warnings, resulted in the normal expectedly catastrophic results.

Aang has, quite on accident, burned my hands rather badly.

There was a great deal of shouting as I, admittedly rather loudly, screamed in surprise/pain. Sokka was there in an instant and shouting in anger in a way I have not seen from him in a long time. He has been rather grim with Aang lately, a product of him “officially” being an adult and samurai combined with Aang’s “betrayal” concerning the map to our father. As such, before I could get a word in edgewise he was shouting at Aang in a really belligerent fashion and Aang, despite probably being able to thrash Sokka within an inch of his life with his bending, was cowering.

There was a great deal of apologizing and swearing and crying and “you burned my sister!”ing and all the while I’m trying to calm everyone down, but my hands _really_ hurt. Finally, I just gave up and went down to the riverside and thrust my hands in the water to heal them with my bending. They were all better in an instant and I turned around to show my ridiculously over-protective brother and my over-worried friend but, alas, they had both taken off. Aang running away and Sokka chasing after him with his boomerang.

_Boys._

But Jeong-Jeong was there and, in lieu of me chasing down my brother and Aang, we have had a little talk about bending.

I found it very surprising that Jeong-Jeong wished that he wasn’t a firebender. He said that his power gave him nothing but suffering, unlike water, which could heal. He said that "fire brings only destruction, death and pain," and that it forced those who were "burdened with its care" to "walk a razor's edge between humanity and savagery."

Shockingly, I kind of wanted to give him a hug.

But I have also decided that he is _probably_ not the right teacher for Aang. While his powers _are_ great, I have always felt that you have to love what you do to be able to teach somebody. I love waterbending and, after I got over the fact that Aang is so naturally proficient at it, I like to think that I have been a pretty good teacher.

So while I will not tell Jeong-Jeong how to live his life, I think that we had better move on.

* * *

** Later that day… **

Well, THAT was intense.

After I left to find Aang and calm Sokka down Jeong-Jeong was attacked by the riverside by that muttonchop firebender we’ve seen before. He has escaped and so have we.

Aang actually did very well today and I am proud of him. He stood his ground (figuratively not literally) against admiral muttonchop's fiery onslaught of doom and tricked him into burning down his own ships. Aang has given joint credit for this victory to both me and Jeong-Jeong.

Jeong-Jeong because he told Aang that his former student (muttonchops) had no control, and me for teaching him about redirecting an opponent’s energy against them.

I was quite flattered by this and have given Aang a little rub on the head.

Later, while Aang was out of earshot, I have also had a bit of a shout at Sokka about not _scaring_ Aang. I can _heal_ myself now and there is no reason for him to A) be mean to a little kid who just made a mistake and B) piss off the Avatar, the most powerful being on the planet.

Sokka fired back that Aang KEEPS making these mistakes and that eventually one of them is likely going to get one of us hurt and/or killed. I told him that we should just try to focus on teaching Aang how NOT to make these mistakes.

Sokka asked how I thought we should go about doing this.

I admitted that I had not given the matter much thought beyond simply being good role-models. He has made a disgusted face at this and said that that was what the yelling was for. I have argued that yelling at someone is not good adult behavior.

Then he said that my _boyfriend_ liked to yell a lot and that seemed to be working out for him.

I then water-whipped him until he apologized.

I do not need to be a good role-model for Sokka.


	14. Chapter 14

** 24th day of the Moon of the Viper-Eel, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

This is what I was talking about. We have been over the North Sea for over a week, subsisting on the dry rations I purchased in Yu Dao.

And there has been _nothing_.

We were actually _excited_ to see an iceberg two days ago.

Just _1_ iceberg.

It has been that, and a whole lot of nothing.

As practice, I have had Appa float along in the water so that he can both rest and Aang and I can propel him forward with our bending. Aang quickly grows bored with this and, as usual, I am left to do it all by myself.

I console myself to this by remembering that, as I bend more I continue to get better. Getting a better feel for the water, the push and pull.

This does NOT mean I wouldn’t like some help.

* * *

** Some time later… **

<the following page is covered in doodles, mostly in a swirling curling pattern. There is also a heart that reads “Katara+Tall-Benderman”>

* * *

** 4th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

Aang is about to go crazy I think.

Sokka and I are used to confinement and close-quarters living. Being inhabitants of the South Pole, with its long and brutal winters, hones this skill.

I have exhausted every game that I know to keep him entertained and he is still cranky. My only relief from this is when I occasionally suggest that he can go flying on his glider as long as he doesn’t go out of sight of Appa.

This he does with gradually decreasing enthusiasm.

Sokka, while still as grumpy as I currently am, has come around to seeing the necessity of helping Aang make this journey. He would have definitely turned around to try and find something more fun to do if ~~I~~ we were not there.

This is a small comfort, but a welcome one.

* * *

** Some time later… **

<this page is filled with crude diagrams of bending forms, most likely copied off a waterbending scroll. There are a few others, drawn in a less certain hand, showing ideas and theoretical moves>

* * *

** Even more time later… **

<this page is filled with characters of the alphabet drawn in increasingly fancy and outlandish styles. Below them is the name “Shinjo Katara” also written in a variety of styles.>

* * *

** Even MORE time later… **

Dear Gran-Gran,

I hope this letter finds you well! We have reached the North Pole with the Avatar. You will never guess who we ran into in the Fire-Nation Colonies… your son Bato! ~~Me and Sokka~~ Sokka and I have completed our gempukku and are now adults. I hope this letter finds you well and that the village is safe.

I miss you.

Love, Katara

P.S. I have NO idea how I am going to get this letter to you.

* * *

** An even greater time later… **

<this page shows totaled victories for "S," "K" and "A" in a long-running earth, fire, water game. The score stands at A:106 K:74 S:3.>

* * *

** 16th(?) day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

Oh thank you LA, there are people! People other than my stupid brother and the ~~stupid~~ Avatar!

FINALLY!

* * *

** Actually, the 15th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

Shiro Doji is… enormous.

I really don’t know what I was expecting, but this is not it.

I guess I expected something like our village, but on a larger scale.

But, honestly, Shiro Doji has more in common with Yu Dao than with my home. There are huge palatial buildings, all of them made with ice, this time in a bright sky blue, and so many people. But, all the same, they ARE my people. They have the same skin, and blue eyes, and there are SO many waterbenders.

We have met with Chief Doji Arnook, and he has greeted us warmly (haha because of the ice!) as honored guests. At first it was only because of Aang, but after we told him that we were Shinjo Hakoda’s kids we got super deep bows and really formal greetings as well. I have heard more about my dad from Arnook than anybody else in recent memory saving Bato.

Either way, we have been shown to these tremendously great rooms, one for EACH of us and later there is to be a large feast.

Sokka is excited for the feast, I am excited to not have to share a room and that I don’t have to cook!

* * *

** Later that day… **

This has been a great evening!

There was food, in a variety of dishes, all of them deliciously salty.

Although I did note that Aang ate very little. I will have to have a word with the kitchen staff about vegetarian dishes.

But anyway, there was an introductory speech and everyone bowed for me and Sokka and actually cheered for Aang. I admit that that was actually kind of surprising as Gran-gran had said that the Crane were all normally quiet, formal, and stoic. But I guess Aang just gives people that much ~~hope~~ reason to cheer I guess.

Then Kakita Pakku had a waterbending demonstration and I was _enthralled_! Oh my, the maneuvers that he did have set my brain to nearly buzzing with ideas and applications and just a general feeling of WOW!

I was NOT, however, so enthralled as to not notice Sokka and his feeble blushing attempts to make conversation with Chief Arnook’s daughter, Yue.

I have seized this opportunity as though it were the last sea prune and used it to reap my vengeance upon him for all the times he has said that Prince Flamebreath was my boyfriend.

Unfortunately, I don’t know if my teasing actually helped Sokka or not, because Yue mostly just giggled and looked coy, like some kind of really daft floozy, the whole time.

Aang had got up to meet Sifu Pakku before the third course came out, and I reminded him to make sure that I would be allowed to come and train with him. Gran-gran had many strong words about the fact that, in the North, girls were not treated as well as they were in the South.

But after he came back, he said that Pakku had said it was ok and that we should come see him at dawn to begin our training. I was most excited and relieved to hear this, a large amount of nervousness dropping away at this, my biggest worry, being unfounded. Obviously, things have changed since Gran-gran's time and I worried pretty needlessly. 

But I am a worrier, so this was to be expected.

As such, I tucked into the sea prune course with great gusto when it arrived, even though I expect there will be many more nights of easy, effort-free, access to sea prunes to come!

* * *

** 16th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

Oooh, I am so mad! So mad!

This is not Aang’s fault! It’s NOT!

Obviously, there has been a miscommunication. I told Aang to make sure it was ok, but obviously… MISCOMMUNICATION!

Pakku, that stupid liver-spotted ~~fucking piece of shit icehole motherfucker~~ jerk just sat himself down on an ice stool and, with this super condescending look, said that the Crane had _rules_ and _traditions_ and _customs._ And all of those meant that I, as a girl, was far too important and delicate (he actually said DELICATE!) to learn something so crude as combative waterbending. He said that Asahina Yugoda would be happy to take me as a student, in spite of my “bad attitude.”

Aang, in an attempt at solidarity, said that if I couldn’t learn then he did want Pakku as a teacher, but I managed to calm down enough to convince him that he couldn’t sacrifice his learning just to help me. I feel that this is a mark of how much more mature I have become. Past-Katara, the Katara of a year ago would have probably just had a very long shout at Pakku until she was blue in the face and/or he was dead/had changed his mind. Instead of that, I just gave Pakku my best glare and stormed off. I have come back here to my room to vent before I go and find this Yugoda person and learn healing.

I have the feeling that I will want to be calm for that.

* * *

** 17th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

Healing is… interesting.

I admit that I came here to learn how to fight but, I suppose, in the absence of that, that healing is good too. Helping people is a noble and honorable path and something I have always wanted to do and thus I should not be so disappointed.

It’s just… I CAN fight. I KNOW I can fight, I have beaten up prison guards and soldiers and hook-sword wielding ~~jackasses~~ jerks and a firebending Prince. I would try to explain this to Pakku but I do not think that that would matter to him.

I am still a girl, and therefore too “delicate and important.”

I have never thought that those words could be an insult until now.

But healing IS interesting, I won’t try to say it isn’t. I was right about the flow of life. It is called “chi” and it is the energy that flows through all living things. As a bender, my chi is attuned to water and thus can be used to manipulate my element as I bend it and myself. I can even use my chi to strengthen another’s, which is why I can heal. I can essentially speed up their own healing process with my powers. It is really a very important and useful skill, far more so than the ability to throw spikes of ice at bad guys.

So why do I feel so depressed?

* * *

** 18th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

So I have had a nice long chat with Princess Yue today.

I must amend my previous statement about her, she is actually really very kind, and sweet, and also very smart.

About everything except _boys_ it seems, because she is, and this is putting it mildly here, HEAD over HEELS in love with my brother.

Ick.

In everything else, she seems to have great taste, books, clothes, sea prune seasoning recipes, but the fact that she originally sought me out to ask about _Sokka_ is mind-boggling.

In deference to being both polite and the fact that, although he makes me suffer for it, I do love my brother, I have tried to make him seem as noble as possible. I have spoken about his bravery and the fact that he has trained in many different styles of fighting. I have left off that I am pretty sure that he and Suki had started to do more than just “practice” before we left Kyoshi because, again, I am not trying to screw this up for him.

Yue is such a sweetheart. Like Aang.

I have also, in turn, learned a great deal about the people of the North and, surprisingly, about my Gran-gran. Apparently, people still like to talk about the day that she went before the council and said that while she loved her people, she would not be a _slave_ to them anymore. She stood up and said that women should be allowed to do all of the same things as men and Yue said that it had apparently inspired a lot of the more rebellious youths and they had gone south with some of the Unicorn who were visiting.

You go, Gran-gran!

Yue said that she was hopeful that things would change soon, because she had just turned marrying age and she would very much like to have some kind of say in who it was that she ended up with for the rest of her life. She said her dad had been making noises about one of his battle-brother’s sons who was, and Yue was probably being very polite and posh as she is want to when she said this, a “very uncouth young man.”

“So, an icehole,” I said.

She seemed somewhat scandalized by this, but nodded in agreement.

I then had a rather stroppy moment and I asked if THAT was why she was interested in my brother, if he was just some foil so that her dad wouldn’t make her marry some other pompous icehole.

She just sighed wistfully and said that my brother, he of the blubber-incident, was a, and this again is a direct quote, “gift from the spirits.”

Again, ick.

* * *

** 21st day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

I have to say I am starting to miss the old days.

We, the three of us, are so busy now. Sokka goes to train with the warriors, Aang with that sour-faced old monkey-bat, and I with Yugoda. Aang is often training with Pakku long into the night and Sokka spends as much free time as he can with Yue. Although I must sometimes be present as a “chaperone,” as is “proper” here in the north, it is very unlikely that I am included in the conversation. Yue will usually try to be polite and include me for the first 5 to 10 minutes but, after that, I might as well not be there.

Those two, they are just going to have the most _fabulous_ romance. All moonlit walks and boat rides and just… wow. I have no idea what Yue sees in my brother. He is constantly tripping over his own words and various physical objects in her presence. He has also fallen into the canals at least a dozen times from not paying attention to where he was going.

He is never smooth in his recovery. But Yue just laughs and gives him a peck on the cheek and then there is another season of blushing. While normally I think I would be upset about the idea of a chaperone, I think this is the most sensible thing for those two. They are so hopelessly head-over-heels besotted with one another that if there was no one else present they would probably A) both walk off the edge of an iceberg because they were too busy gazing into one another’s eyes and B) do an “activity” together that would make Gran-gran frown most disapprovingly.

* * *

** 23th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

Sokka has had an Amazing idea! (I assume that Yue must have given it to him) but as I was having another round of loud grumbling about how stupid it is that I am not allowed to learn to fight, he has said something about how it didn't really matter. After all, once this was all over, I could just get Aang to teach me all the stuff the Pakku had shown him.

Which is brilliant!

I have made many exclamations about how clever Sokka(again, probably with Yue’s help) was, and Aang agreed and offered to start teaching me right now! Sokka seemed to think this was a bad idea for some reason but, again, that is probably because Yue isn’t here to agree with me.

Aang is very tired right now, but we have agreed that _tomorrow_ night after my healing and his fighting, there would be an exchange of trainings. I will teach healing and Aang will teach fighting.

And we will both be better for it!

* * *

** 24th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

This has been the single worst collective day in the history of days ever, for all of us, ever.

Aang and I had literally only been practicing for maybe 15 minutes when ~~that piece of shit asshat motherfucker~~ Pakku showed up. He said that Aang had disrespected him, me, the Crane, and their _entire_ way of life. How exactly this was disrespect to _me_ I will never know but he said that Aang was no longer worthy to be his student and then he just strode off, all haughty.

Ugh, and there is GUILT!

Because I couldn’t leave well enough alone, because I couldn’t just be _content_ in my place I have ~~fucked~~ screwed everything up.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, we came back to our rooms to discover that Sokka and Yue had broken up. Yue’s father had just decided, without even asking apparently, to betroth her to that utter berk that she was worried he would. Sokka is despondent, and Aang is panicking, and I am just so…

Cross, I think.

With a hint of guilt.

I am going to have to make this right tomorrow. I am going to go before Chief Arnook and, well… do something.

Aang needs me, and so if I have to friggin debase myself and beg their pardon I will.

This is going to suck.

* * *

** 25th day of the Moon of the Buffalo-Yak **

So… things did not go as planned.

They went so SO much better!

So, pride in my boots, I walked into the long hall of the Crane to try and convince Chief Arnook to talk some sense into Pakku. Even after my long and lengthy arguments about duty and the last hope for peace he just shrugged and asked if I wanted him to somehow _force_ Pakku to take Aang back as his student.

I said yes. I even said please.

Arnook then leaned over as Yue whispered something in his ear and said that he was sure that if I just apologized to Pakku then everything would be fine.

So I took a deep breath and tried to prepare myself for doing the most disgraceful dishonest thing I would have ever done.

But THEN Pakku said, “I’m waiting, little girl.”

And I just LOST it. I said a lot of rather angry things about sexism and honor RE: Pakku having none. I said that I would be dead and at the bottom of the SEA before I would apologize to him. Sokka has since told me that all of this was made more impressive by the fact that the entire ice structure of the long hall was shaking as I shouted, but I was barely conscious of that. I said that if he really believed that I was “delicate” that he should come outside and prove it, if he was MAN enough to face me.

This, was a bad idea.

I admit that my temper sometimes makes me do things that are really REALLY not good ideas. And challenging the man that I _knew_ to be one of the best waterbenders in the world to a duel was not a good idea.

There was a large uproar at my challenge and much shouting and waving of arms. Arnook said that I could not challenge Pakka as, under Crane law, women could not participate in duels. Yue then leaned over and whispered in his ear again, and made him go pale. He then apologized and amended that that law only really applied to Crane and that, as I was Unicorn, the challenge could stand. Pakku then said that I should just go back to the healing hut where it was safe and not meddle with powers that were beyond my understanding.

Then, I called him a coward.

Really REALLY not smart Katara.

He got really pissed at that point and said that if I wanted to learn so badly I had better pay close attention because this wasn’t going to last _long._

At least I showed him on THAT front!

We went outside and the duel was organized while Sokka and Aang tried to talk me out of it. Sokka was of the opinion that this was crazy for all the same reasons that I have previously mentioned.

I said that I didn’t care.

Aang said I shouldn’t do this for him, that he could find another teacher.

I corrected him and told him that I wasn’t doing it for him. I was doing it for me, because, like my Gran-gran, somebody had to stand up and tell these people what they were doing was wrong.

All those little girls that looked up to me at Yugoda’s healing lessons needed me to fight for them.

Pakku started off the fight by seeming to throw half the water in the city at me and swirling it around the two of us in a big maelstrom. I admit that I was a little amazed by this but then he said I needn’t worry because he wasn’t going to hurt me.

So, yes, I should thank him for angering me RIGHT back into the fight.

I just went for him, trying everything I knew and a lot of things I was only just guessing at. I tried to find that _flow,_ that push and pull sense that I had had with Zuko, but I only found it in a sort of patchwork way.

Pakku is very very good.

I would say that his only real mistake was throwing me into one of the large pools of water that was a part of the dueling ground. I am much much better at bending large volumes of water when I am immersed in them. I threw most of it back at him in a huge wave and actually took him off his feet for a minute.

Which I guess really pissed him off. He pulled the icy ground out from underneath my feet and tossed me into the air. I had just managed to get back to my feet when this absolutely massive volley of ice spears slammed down all around me pinning me in place. I tried to bend them away, but Pakku held them steady as he advanced on me. I assume that he was about to launch into some sort of very irritating and chauvinistic speech but then he just stopped and gaped at me like he had seen a ghost.

“Kanna?” he said.

I said that my name was Katara, daughter of Kya, daughter of _Kanna_ and that if he didn’t let me go I was going to take one of these ice spears and shove it in an unmentionable place.

He gaped at me again and looked at my necklace and said: "That's my necklace!"

I admit I was now more confused than angry because, no, obviously it wasn’t and I said as much.

He said that he carved that necklace himself, for Daidoji Kanna, the love of his life, but she had left him.

I said that that _was_ my Gran-gran’s name, and was slightly horrified to learn that Pakku was the man that she had almost married, whom she had once said had “Too much pride, but a really nice butt.”

Why THIS was the phrase that popped into my mind at that moment I do not know, but I was suitably grossed out by it enough to take the very last edge off of my rage.

Also, there was the fact that sour old Pakku looked like he might cry as he bent me out of the ice.

I told him that I was sorry, but what did he expect? My Gran-gran has always been a woman who, once she made up her mind, could not be stopped. He agreed with me with a small sniffle and then said that he was sorry for being so rude. I had just reminded him of that day when Kanna had stormed out of his life, she had shouted at them all in that very same longhouse, and then left with that "smirking prat" Chagatai.

I have elected NOT to tell him that that was the name of my Gramp-Gramp. The waters are already muddy enough as it is.

He then said, with what I must admit was a rather sad look, that this really didn’t change anything, and that the traditions of his people were clear on the matter. But, he said, before I could get wound up enough, he would think on all the things that I had said and confer with Chief Arnook.

Then he said that perhaps traditions could be changed.

SHOULD be changed is more like it! But I did not say this, as I have probably already fulfilled my bossy quota for the rest of the month.

Now I am sitting here in my room, just waiting. It is so friggin tense that I am almost feeling a little ill.

Well, _was_ feeling ill. Writing all this down has helped tremendously. Thank you Suki and Kyoshi!

* * *

** Later that day… **

I. AM. IN!

YesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYES!

* * *

** 5th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

So, I am beginning to rethink this whole, being a waterbending fighter and healer, thing.

No, not really, but it is _exhausting._ I am up before dawn to get dressed and attend Sifu Pakku’s lessons, which are in and of themselves both physically and mentally draining.

Then, because Yugoda asked, I said that I would LOVE to have private lessons with her, which I do for a few hours after dinner each night. I have noted, with some amusement, that Yugoda and Pakku seem to be passive-aggressively fighting one another over me. After only a week they have both said that I am their "best student" and, as such, I should not be “wasting my time” with the other waterbending discipline.

They have BOTH said exactly those words to me and I have told them both so, much to their mutual horror and my amusement.

While I will not tell her this, I think Pakku’s words are more special to me.

He has… well not really softened to me. Not during training anyways. He is just as sour-faced and demanding there as Aang said he would be. But, at the communal dinner table, he has made a point of sitting next to me and talking at length about waterbending theory and martial arts and bushido all with the air of… dare I say it? A doting Gramp-gramp. We have had several long and very interesting discussions/debates about these topics. He has a lot of wisdom, although it is buried under a lifetime of surliness and, I think, a dash of heartbreak.

He never married, even though my Gran-gran left him over 40 years ago.

But, also, I know that when he says that I am his “best student” he really means it. I am the best, even better than Aang. While Aang and I had already mastered what he called the “crudest of beginner’s moves,” we have now been moved to a more advanced class wherein the kata have begun to require a great deal of focus and discipline.

Which are not things that Aang excels at.

I have resisted the urge to gently draw his attention back to the forms we are supposed to be learning as I did when he was training with Jeong-Jeong. This is not my job currently, and I can only hope that Aang sees me as a role model for good behavior.

But if not, well, _I_ can always teach _him_ again later.

* * *

** 8th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

I have just had a good long chat with Yue and the two of us are formulating a plan to help her escape from her arranged marriage. I have, only last night, had the “pleasure” of meeting Kakita Hahn (only a distant relation of Pakku’s) and he is, without a doubt, the biggest moron on this or any other iceberg. Luckily the wedding is not to take place for some time and so we will have a great many months to formulate a strategy. So far we have decided on a two-pronged attack. 

The first prong is to elevate Sokka in the eyes of Yue’s father. Yue has already suggested that there could be talk of some sort of diplomatic marriage to unify the Southern and Northern tribes. I am not sure if this would work though, while Sokka and I are the children of the current chief and the grandchildren of another, the chiefdom is an electoral process, and so Sokka is not a “prince” in the same way that Yue is a princess or even in the same way that Zuko is a Prince. Yue was most interested to hear Zuko, and about my duel with him, and I have told her about it.

~~She then said that that sounded really romantic.~~

She then said something rather disgusting that I will NOT print here.

The second prong is more in my arena and is the universal advancement of women’s rights. I am of half a mind to go and get Suki and drag her up here to have the Kyoshi Warriors beat some sense into the Crane on mass. But this might be a bad idea, again I am not _exactly_ sure what happened, but I think that Sokka and Suki were doing a bit more than “training” in the Kyoshi gym.

Anyway, I have talked extensively to Yue about women’s rights, and how we are not the weaker sex, and we should only have to be protected if we _want_ to be; not as a default. She raised some counter-points to these arguments, Re: children and child-raising. I said that that should be our choice too, whether we have babies and how we raised them once they’re born.

It was a good talk, the first of many I think. I like Yue, even though she is a walking example of a “delicate and fragile” woman who really does need protection. She was apparently very ill as a child and was saved only by an intervention by the Moon spirit herself. Even with that, she is often ill and not very strong. I do not think that Sokka has a problem with this and, of course, neither do I.

My point in these matters has been that it is about choice. If I _want_ to be a sheltered maiden whose daddy arranges their marriage, then yes, I can do that. But if I want to be a ~~hurricane ass-kicker~~ warrior then I should be allowed to do that too. The fact that I am capable of carrying around a baby for a few months does not somehow make me a porcelain figurine.

As loath as I was to do it, I have even mentioned that the _Fire-Nation_ allows females to be soldiers, and that if the worst most evil empire in the world is willing to be more open about that, what does that say about us?

Yue said that I probably shouldn’t bring that up as someone might then try to argue that, because they _are_ evil, anything that they do must _also_ be evil.

This is a valid point and I am currently mulling over that. Unfortunately, that leaves me with three options.

One: The Fire-Nation is evil and therefore their non-sexism is also evil. (Boo.)

Two: Sexism is NOT evil and therefore the Fire-Nation is also not _entirely_ evil. (Also Boo.)

Three: Sexism and relative evilness are not in any way related. (…Yay?)

I suppose we will just have to talk about it more before we launch operation…

We should also come up with a name for the operation. Sokka is usually good at that sort of thing.

* * *

** 10th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

Today was a good day for me, and a BAD day for sexism.

Sifu Pakku’s training system requires that a student face down several members of the next rank in order to advance. While at first, I was skeptical about this practice, Pakku has assured me that one does not have to _win_ against their opponents, only show that they are worthy to be among them. This sounded fair to me and so I agreed.

However, much to my, and I suspect Pakku's irritation, every single member of the waxing moon class stood to fight me when Pakku brought me in. There was much snickering and nudging of one another with their elbows among the class, but Pakku just looked at me questioningly and I just nodded back.

Then I kicked ALL their asses.

So many asses, so much kicking.

After I had knocked them all, one by one, into a heap, Pakku said that, as there were no more idiots left to challenge here, I should probably just go to the _next_ level.

This has pleased me a great deal and tomorrow I will join the full moon class.

Aang is mildly distraught, however, and, surprisingly, I am glad for it. I am now _three_ levels ahead of him and we will no longer have _any_ training time together. I have told him that he is the Avatar and very skilled and that if he could only work hard and listen to Sifu Pakku then I was sure he could make it to the same level as I am really quickly.

So hopefully that should motivate him.

* * *

** 12th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

Another day another success.

Aang has become very motivated and has advanced to the half-moon class, I have convinced one of the older girls in Yugoda’s classes to ask Sifu Pakku if she might be allowed to observe the combative training, (baby-steps!) and most excellently Yue and I have managed to get Sokka onto Yue’s security detail!

Sokka was apparently involved in some big altercation during a training session and, despite my prodding, has refused to talk about it. I assume it either had to do with myself or Yue and insults/rudeness about us. BUT, Yue being a super clever and diplomatic lady has suggested that Sokka, as a foreign “dignitary” should be given a role more suited to his “birth” and has somehow parleyed Sokka’s fight (which he won) into his appointment to her personal security detail.

Sokka is most pleased by this, and after I healed the various bruises and small cuts he had, he loudly exclaimed that he would guard Yue with his life. Yue then, in spite of the fact that I was still in the room, threw herself at him and made with the kissing.

So, good for her, and also ICK.

This has also put me in a rather pensive mood. All this feminism stuff is really and truly important, but it _does_ cut down on my ability to find someone that _I_ might want to play kissy-face with. I console myself that those driven away by my beliefs are not the men I want to be doing that sort of thing with anyway, but at the same time, I worry that this chauvinistic whale-crap is so ingrained in all of the Crane that I will not find a single one who is brave enough to even look at me.

So, yes, we will amend the requirements. Tall, powerful bender, AND accepts me for who I am and doesn’t try to tell me how to live my life. A tall order I’m sure but I feel that settling for anything less is… well to use Sifu Pakku’s words “unworthy of me.”

I should really just be focusing on my training anyways.


	15. Chapter 15

** 18th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark, 13th winter under the guidance of Shinjo Hakoda **

I can’t believe this. They are coming.

The skies grew dark today, right in the middle of practice, and the black snows started falling.

The Fire-Nation is coming.

* * *

** Later that day… **

I have never seen so many ships before, there are hundreds.

Hundreds of gray hulking monsters just looming on the southern horizon.

For some reason I was just so mad. I, like all of us, had assumed that Prince Firebreath would have given up now that we were at the North Pole. That we would be _safe_ here. Now there are more ships than I have ever seen gathered in one place and they are just slowly drifting forward into bombardment range.

I suppose on some level I expected that, in saving that ~~icehole’s~~ jerk’s life, he would have left us alone. I know that I had no real reason to assume that, but I had hoped…

I also know, from the drawn looks on Pakku and Arnook’s faces, that we might not survive this.

* * *

** 19th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

I find myself rather surprised and bizarrely grateful today. Sokka has been just spilling all this information out to a large meeting of warriors and he is convinced that the fleet is under the command of someone called Admiral Zhao, who he later told me was the evil muttonchops man from before.

I asked him how he knew this, and he said that all the different ships have different flags on them to identify their commanders and the fleet they were attached to, and that my boyfriend’s flag (I have hit him again) was not out there.

Grateful, and surprised to feel so. Though I am now slightly worried, perhaps I failed at healing him, and he had died anyways. I know so much more about healing now than I did 3 months ago and I can’t say for certain if I got everything back where it was supposed to be.

But I have larger concerns now, I suppose, than to be worrying about one ~~stupid~~ firebender.

* * *

** Later that day… **

Oh, I am so mad!

Aang has taken off to go and “fight” the ships! What in the frozen hells do these people think they are doing? Arnook just shrugged at me and said, “he’s the Avatar,” when I asked him why he would let a small, 14-year-old, not even fully trained child do such a thing!

Uggh, I am now besides myself with worry.

* * *

** A short while later… **

I have had a small shout at Aang about him charging off into battle with all the sense of a koala-otter after something shiny. He said that he wanted to do _something,_ because he wasn’t there when his own people were slaughtered, and he wanted to do something, anything he could, for mine.

He seemed so sad.

So I have told him that while it is his duty to see to the safety of the world, he should not be running off all by himself. He has a whole tribe of people here to help him and it would be much safer for him (and more effective) if he worked _with_ them.

He has agreed to this much to my pleasure.

* * *

** 23rd day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

The days are long and the nights are longer.

Yesterday the Fire-Nation started shelling the city and I, along with Sifu Pakku and the rest of the full moon class have spent the day fixing and reinforcing the many walls and buildings that have been damaged. I also got a great deal of practical experience with healing those that had gotten buried.

There were a few that I found that were beyond my help.

Then night came and many large groups of warriors snuck out of the city and struck at the enemy in the dark. There is a flow to this battle too, another push and pull, and Pakku says that, no matter how strong the opponent is, his energy can be re-directed against him.

I just worry that we are going to run out of energy before the Fire-Nation does.

* * *

** 26th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

Aang is exhausted, I am exhausted, the whole city is exhausted.

But, night after night, we throw ourselves at the Fire-Nation and, day by day, they hammer Shiro Doji with fire.

They made it into the city this morning.

The fighting… the fighting was fierce, the sounds of men screaming and dying, the sound of fire everywhere.

But this time I was not defenseless. This time I was not just a small child who could only watch as her mother burned. THIS TIME, I fought back.

And now I am heartsick. I am so tired and have seen too many people die, both mine, and the enemy. I have even, I think, been the cause of some. Pakku found me yesterday, shivering and ill, having thrown up into one of the canals and, at first, I thought that he was going to revert back to the old line about being delicate. But he didn’t. He said that life is a sacred gift from the spirits and there was no shame in being sick over it being so senselessly wasted.

He said that, and here he smiled at me, that we all had a choice. That a samurai, ether Fire-Nation or Water-Tribe, had made a choice to come here, made a choice to fight, and in so doing had accepted death as much as the ocean accepts the stream. Death was a part of life he said, and if I could not accept that then I really had better go back to the healing huts.

I admit that I scowled at him here and he just nodded solemnly and said that he had thought not.

* * *

** 28th day of the Moon of the Tiger-Shark **

We have had a breakthrough!

Tonight when the full moon rises Aang, Yue and I will go to a spirit grove that Yue knows of and importune the spirits to aid us. Aang is the Avatar after all and a “spirit bridge” so while this might just be grasping at snowflakes I have a feeling that this is going to work!

* * *

** Some Time Later… **

…I can’t

<the rest of this page is covered in tear stains>

\---- **END OF BOOK ONE----**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That was fun. I hope (crosses fingers)
> 
> Let me know what you think/thought/will think.
> 
> Book two of this is NOT done, but I foresee some progress on it in the near future.
> 
> Have a good one!


End file.
